After going through several family funerals, I realized that some people have no idea what to say to a grieving person and resort to the lines they are familiar with. However, oftentimes these lines are inappropriate and sometimes even offensive. Please avoid using these sentences when talking to a person who is grieving.
1. "_____ is in a better place now."
Let's say that the people in question did believe in Heaven and do believe their loved one is in Heaven. That doesn't really make the grieving person miss their loved one any less. Just please avoid this sentence!
2. "____ is an angel now."
The justification for this is pretty much the same as above.
3. "_______ wouldn't want to see you upset about their death."
Y'know, maybe my loved one wouldn't want to see me upset, but you saying that to me does not make me feel any more at peace.
4. "Maybe this is what you needed to turn your life around."
Excuse me, what?
5. "Why aren't you crying more?"
People grieve and process tragedies in totally different ways. There is no measurable amount of crying or grieving that a person has to do before he/she is fully at peace. It is certainly not up to anyone else to determine the appropriate amount of grieving for someone else.
6. "When will you stop being upset? It's been long enough!"
Same as above!
7. "Well, we're all dying."
Really? This is just the worst, most morbid thing ever. Don't say it!
8. "____ won the race."
The race? Life is a race? You're going to turn my loved one's death into "winning the race of life?"
9. "I wonder if ____ will ever come back as a ghost and haunt us?"
There are just no words.
10. "At least ____ isn't suffering anymore."
We know. And we're truly not trying to be selfish about the situation. Knowing that our loved one isn't suffering is somewhat comforting to know but not when it is coming from someone else.
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