Chronic pain is exactly what it sounds like - pain that is chronic, and most medical professionals will define chronic pain as a pain that lasts twelve weeks or more. Acute pain is the type of pain you get when you’re injured - such as a stubbed toe, a headache that lasts a few hours, or any other form of pain that alerts you to the fact that something in your body is going a bit wrong.
There are a few different illnesses that can create chronic pain, such as: fibromyalgia, arthritis (rheumatoid and osteo), pinched nerves, TMJ, knee pain, lower back pain, migraines, Crohn’s disease, and many more.
A lot of these illnesses are called “invisible” because there are rarely any visible symptoms of someone being in pain. This does not make their pain any less valid, however, and anyone you know could be dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis.
Without further ado, here are 8 things you should never, ever say to or ask of a person who deals with chronic pain.
1. “So when will you be better?”
Never, but thanks for reminding me.
2. “You should try [insert specific diet(s) here] and/or [insert specific exercise(s) here]!”
I’m sorry, are you a doctor or medical professional? Actually, are you suddenly my doctor? Because, oddly enough, I don’t remember paying a $15 co-pay and sending a bill to my insurance before we started our conversation.
3. “Why are you so tired all the time?”
You know how a person with a bad cold or the flu or a stomach bug tends to look pale and tired, on top of how lethargic and crappy they feel due to being sick? And you know how, when someone tells you, “I’ve got the worst cold right now and I just want to go back to bed” that you don’t immediately ask them why they’re so tired?
Yeah. Being in chronic pain could be compared to having the worst cold or flu. Someone who deals with chronic pain is, for all intents and purposes, sick. Their body is trying to heal itself constantly, and everyone’s body best heals with plenty of rest.
So yeah, we’re tired. You know why we’re tired? Because we’re sick!
4. “It’s only 1 flight of stairs; you don’t need to take the elevator!”
I didn’t know that you woke up inside my body, dealing with the pain that I do, and knowing exactly what is and is not best for me, my physical well-being, and my overall health.
Don’t assume you know what’s best for me. I’m the only person who genuinely knows what’s best for me, outside of a doctor’s office.
5. “You just need to work through the pain.” / “No pain, no gain!”
The life of someone dealing with chronic pain is literally them working through the pain. Saying something like that to a person with chronic pain is not only ignorant, but downright insensitive.
Additionally, the only thing anyone will be gaining through that conversation is a serious side effect of bitterness and potential rage.
6. “I broke/sprained/somehow injured my [insert body part here] once, so I COMPLETELY understand how you feel.”
I’m sorry that that happened to you and you lost mobility or complete use of that part of your body for a certain amount of time, but the thing is… You got better.
It’s not comparable to say that you broke your ankle once and so you totally understand what it’s like to wake up every day not knowing if you’ll be able to have proper mobility for the day, or if it’s another day stuck in bed.
A broken or sprained body part heals and gets better, but chronic pain does not. That’s why it’s chronic.
7. “You’re just being lazy.”
Until you live in the body of someone with chronic pain and understand EXACTLY how it feels to be unable to move the way you know you should be able to, you don’t get to call anybody lazy.
8. “But you’re not REALLY disabled.” / “You don’t LOOK disabled.”
Just because someone isn’t in a wheelchair, on crutches, wearing braces, or otherwise visibly disabled, doesn’t mean that they are not.
If someone tells you that they’re disabled and/or that they deal with chronic pain, believe them. Ask respectful questions and don’t assume that they’re making something up. Just because someone doesn’t look or act like YOUR idea of what a disabled person looks like doesn’t mean that the person is not somehow disabled or in pain.
What do you think? Have you ever said any of these to someone before, or thought them? Has someone ever said these things to you before? How did you react?
Let me know below in the comments, and if you find this relatable at all, give it a share!
