I Never Learned How To Say No To People | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I Never Learned How To Say 'No' To People And I Wish I Had

"People Pleasers" are more complex than you might think.

136
I Never Learned How To Say 'No' To People And I Wish I Had

I've always considered myself to be a giving person. Whenever there's someone in need, I find myself lending out a hand. It never occurred to me how it would start to negatively impact my life, until recently. Being that person for everyone in your life becomes mentally draining. The idea that I can't say "no" to people has been a personal struggle of mine for as long as I can remember, and I'm sure a lot of others can relate.


assets.rbl.ms

From my experience, being a "people pleaser" has placed me in very difficult situations. I'm a naturally empathetic person, and I hate letting anyone down in my life. There have been countless instances where I've agreed to things I didn't want to do but risked my own personal comfort, with a friend's best interest in mind.

The life of a "people pleaser" can be complex and misunderstood. I would like to highlight some important characteristics of this personality, so other's can understand our ways of thinking and learn to respect our boundaries.

There are days where we too have a lot on our plate and cannot be that person for you to come to. Saying "no" to someone is not easy for a "people pleaser." We tend to feel guilty if we do gain the courage to do so, and it ends up eating us alive.

The fact that a "people pleaser" is so readily available to give, does not mean you should take advantage of their kindness.

A "people pleaser," may be perceived as selfless. They tend to neglect their own needs for exchange of your satisfaction. Giving for us can be highly rewarding, but becomes draining after a while. The act of giving is meant to be selfless, but should never be expected from one another. It is important to understand that you are never entitled to another person's time or energy.

As much as we love giving, we wish people would realize that we're not superhuman. We're simply people who feel for others very deeply. Our energies need time to replenish. There is only so much that you can expect from a person.

My advice to fellow "people pleasers," is to try and find a balance of giving to yourself and giving to others. As giving is in our nature, we tend to put other's happiness before our own. While this quality of ours can be rewarding, it should never completely take over your life. That mentality is detrimental to one's mental health.

We aim to please but put high expectations on ourselves to perform which damages our self-worth. Our intentions are pure and often taken for granted. Self-worth should never be dictated by how other people view you. Being well-liked by everyone is nowhere near as fulfilling as having the right people surrounded by you.

No matter how kind and giving you are to people, not everyone is going to like you. It also doesn't hurt to say "no" every once in a while.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

15 Times Michael Scott's Life Was Worse Than Your Life

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

2288
Michael Scott
NBC

Most of the time, the world's (self-proclaimed) greatest boss is just that, the greatest. I mean, come on, he's Michael Freakin' Scott after all! But every once in a while, his life hits a bit of a speed bump. (or he actually hits Meredith...) So if you personally are struggling through a hard time, you know what they say: misery loves company! Here are 15 times Michael Scott's life was worse than your life:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

16890
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

3615
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments