There are many lessons that we learn in life long before we think we are emotionally prepared to handle them. However, one of the biggest lessons I have learned is that we are not dealt cards that we are unfit to handle. I have been lucky enough to not face too many hardships in life, but some of my friends have not been so lucky. One of the simplest life lessons is actually the hardest one to grapple with and that is the reality that life is fragile.
On Feb. 12, 2010, a good friend of mine lost his older brother to a drunk driving accident. Each year, on Feb. 11, I go to sleep with a heavy heart knowing that the next day is going to be the hardest day of the year for my friend. I wake up on Feb. 12 with just as heavy a heart, wishing there was something I could say to help him through the day. I can reach out to him every year to tell him I am thinking of him and that I am always there when he needs me, but that really does not change anything. This year, what I want to say to my friend is that I have learned so much in the last six years since his brother’s life was taken away. His life impacted so many people and still does every day.
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1. I have learned that things happen prematurely.
Whether someone dies a premature death or a relationship sees its end earlier than expected, things sometimes happen before we are ready for them to happen. Life cannot be planned down to the minute and we cannot always decide how things work out for ourselves or for those we love. But we must take what life throws at us and understand that in life, we cannot choose the fate we face.
2. I have learned that you must appreciate the time that you have.
My friend’s life changed dramatically when he lost his brother. What I have learned is that you must unconditionally appreciate the time that you have on this earth and the time that you have with the people that you love because you never know when it's going to be the last time you do something or see someone.
3. I have learned the importance in speaking your truth.
As unconventional as you think your ideas are or as insecure as you may be with what you believe, you must also speak up about how you feel. You must always work hard to bridge gaps between people who may be taught by society that they have every reason to not get along. You must always tell people what is on your mind before the chance is taken from you.
4. I have learned to live my life to the fullest.
Unfortunately, I did not get to know my friend’s brother as much as I wish I had. Everyone says that he did more in 22 years than most people would in their entire life. So, on February 12 each year, I remind myself that I need to take advantage of the life I have and do what I can while I have the chance. Leave your mark on the world and do all that you can to lead a fulfilled life.
5. I learned that we must seek peace and pursue it.
Whether it is peace with another, or peace with yourself, we all deserve to feel at peace. Forgive the person who made that snarky comment three years ago. Forgive yourself for letting your guard down and getting hurt. Forgive the people who have hurt you and forgive yourself for hurting others. Make an effort to get to know people and learn from each other. Expand your understanding and acceptance of yourself and other people. Live a life of peace.
Today, go hug someone a little tighter than you normally do. Tell the people you love that you love them one extra time. Go out and do something that scares you because you never know when you will lose the chance to face your fears. You do not know when it is going to be the last time you can be with someone or do something, so make it a priority today and everyday to live your life and appreciate everything about it.
