Hey Girl! I'm Not Joining Your Damn Pyramid Scheme | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

Hey Girl! I'm Not Joining Your Damn Pyramid Scheme

Hey girl! I just want to say, I think your profile is SO cute too, and you're just SO pretty too, but for the love of God get out of my direct messages.

549
https://unsplash.com/photos/nMffL1zjbw4
https://unsplash.com/photos/nMffL1zjbw4

The concept of a pyramid scheme is simple. Money is made by higher members because they recruit new members below them to bring more money. The more people below you, the higher you go, and the more money you make. Pyramid schemes fall apart when the market is saturated and new people stop joining.

That's it. Just because the pyramids in Egypt have lasted thousands of years doesn't mean yours won't come crumbling down. Those were built from a stone on a solid foundation, yours is built from "emojis dropped in the comments" on a foundation of gullible people with an extra $50.

I know what you're thinking, "This is my BUSINESS, not this scheme you're describing" but if that's true, why are you messaging me to recruit me as a new member to bring in more money while you, a higher member, get to go higher and make more money? Please review the previous paragraph describing how a pyramid scheme works if you're still confused.

If you're a stranger in my Instagram direct messages trying to get me to buy something or join, just know that I want to tell you to fuck off. My ego appreciates the compliments you gave me copied and pasted into the message. I'm sure you're very nice. I'm sure you don't really mean any harm. You're just trying to save yourself in this scheme you've joined. But really, fuck off.

If you're a family member or a friend trying to get me to join, if you love me please stop. I'm begging you. Your Christmas card is probably hanging on my fridge but if you ask me one more time if I want to buy your product I will be forced to move a magnet over your face. I could never put a price on how much I value our relationship, but if I had to, I'd estimate it at just below whatever your cheapest item is.

You would make a great business person if you were part of an actual business someday. But in the meantime, do literally anything else but this and leave me alone.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Christmas Tree
History.com

Now that Halloween is over, it's time to focus on the Holiday Season. Don't get me wrong, I think Thanksgiving is great and can't wait for it, but nothing gives me greater joy than watching Freeform's 25 Days of Christmas, lighting peppermint scented candles, decking the halls, and baking gingerbread cookies. So while we approach the greatest time of the year, let's watch the 15 best Christmas movies of all time.

Keep Reading...Show less
6 Signs You Are An English Major

There are various stereotypes about college students, most of which revolve around the concept of your major. Unfortunately, we often let stereotypes precede our own judgments, and we take what information is immediately available to us rather than forming our own opinions after considerable reflection. If I got a dollar for every time my friends have made a joke about my major I could pay my tuition. One stereotype on campus is the sensitive, overly critical and rigid English major. Here are six telltale signs you are one of them.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

27 Things 'The Office' Has Taught Us

"The Office" is a mockumentary based on everyday office life featuring love triangles, silly pranks and everything in between. It can get pretty crazy for just an average day at the office.

2479
the office
http://www.ssninsider.com/

When you were little, your parents probably told you television makes your brain rot so you wouldn't watch it for twelve straight hours. However, I feel we can learn some pretty valuable stuff from television shows. "The Office," while a comedy, has some pretty teachable moments thrown in there. You may not know how to react in a situation where a co-worker does something crazy (like put your office supplies in jello) but thanks to "The Office," now you'll have an idea how to behave ifsomething like that should happen.

Here are just a few of the things that religious Office watchers can expect to learn.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Signs You’re A Pre-Med Student

Ah, pre-med: home of the dead at heart.

1538
Grey's Anatomy
TV Guide

Being pre-med is quite a journey. It’s not easy juggling school work, extracurricular activities, volunteering, shadowing, research, and MCAT prep all at the same time. Ever heard of “pain is temporary, but GPA is forever?” Pre-meds don’t just embody that motto; we live and breathe it. Here are 10 symptoms you’re down with the pre-med student syndrome.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

High School And College Sucked All Of The Fun Out Of Reading

Books were always about understanding for me, about learning the way someone else sees, about connection.

1141
High School And College Sucked All Of The Fun Out Of Reading

I keep making this joke whenever the idea of books is brought up: "God, I wish I knew how to read." It runs parallel to another stupid phrase, as I watch my friends struggle through their calculus classes late at night in our floor lounge: "I hope this is the year that I learn to count." They're both truly idiotic expressions, but, when I consider the former, I sometimes wonder if there's some truth to it.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments