I applied for SSI benefits in October.
Why? I don't look disabled. I don't act disabled. But I am disabled, and I came to accept this in the fall, realizing that "disabled" didn't mean "broken".
I applied for SSI because in October I thought I wouldn't ever be able to hold a job. I had just quit after a week from another job and was lost. My frequent panic attacks and severe depressive episodes made it impossible for me to keep a steady schedule. I never knew when I would or wouldn't have the mental stamina to work a shift. Work scared me. In all the jobs I worked I never enjoyed them (that's why it's called work, right?). I started dreading going in and eventually it built up into a panic and I would have to quit on short notice.
That was until I got The Job.
The Job was a job in the field I was studying, working with animals I loved, working the number of hours I wanted to work on a regular schedule to help me plan in the future. The day I started The Job I fell in love and (though it's only been 2 weeks) I am loving working at The Job.
I never thought I would be able to keep a job, let alone enjoy a job and be good at it.
Goes to show you there is something out there for everyone, you just need to find the right thing for you. Don't get discouraged and be ready to walk away from something that doesn't work for you. I wish you the best of luck on finding your dream job.
