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Health and Wellness

Never Have I Ever ... Until College.

Growing up there were things I had never done ... but then I came to college.

Sadie Dorf

Mar 05, 2015

University of Wisconsin, Madison

123

Never have I ever until college ... started drinking at 7:00am.

It's definitely a unique and challenging process waking up for a Saturday football game. Not only do I have to manage to get my body out of bed at 6:45am, dress completely in a monotone of red, put on makeup hoping you couldn't see the “hungover” in my eyes, I had to somehow put enough alcohol in my body before game time so that my drunk could last me the next five hours. It's an exhausting process but one that I look forward to more than anything.

Never have I ever until college ... done my own laundry.

Yes, my privileged Californian life gave me the joy of not having to wash my own clothes but once I became a college kid I had to learn how to pour the perfect amount of detergent, how high of heat to dry my clothes, and manage the art of folding clothes.

Never have I ever until college ... been up until 3:30am doing homework.

I made a terrible enemy once I came to college named Procrastination. In high school, I could procrastinate on writing an essay, turn it in the night before, and get a solid B. But now that I'm in college procrastination bites me in the a** leaving me stressed out, reliant on coffee, and up way too late for having school the next day.

Never have I ever until college ... had Mono.

They say 60% of all college students experience the horror of Mono and sadly I am a statistic. My first semester of Freshman year consisted of me going to class, rushing a sorority, and sleeping between each of my classes in an attempt to fight off this miserable virus. (If you do experience Mono, RIP to you. It sucks.)

Never have I ever until college ... gone to class drunk.

It's not because I pregamed class (but I do plan to do this at some point before I graduate) but there have been a few Friday morning classes where I woke up still drunk from my Coke and rums the night before forcing me to get out of bed with makeup running down my face and my head spinning while my professor is trying to teach me about the printing press.

Never have I ever until college ... lived with my best friends.

The dorms, as gross, cramped, and loud as they can be, are truly amazing. You are in a building with hundreds of other college kids your age who want to have a great time and make the most of freshman year. You'll meet some of the weirdest people here and your best friends. Being able to call a floor-mate a close friend of yours is something only college can give you and it rocks.

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Working with the public can be a job, in and of itself. Some people are just plain rude for no reason. But regardless of how your day is going, always having to be in the best of moods, or at least act like it... right?

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

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Another day, another Elle Woods comment. Can’t us blondes get through the day without someone harping at us over the typical stereotypes about who we are? I never understood why a person was judged based upon the hair color they were born with, or the hair color they choose to have (unless you dye your hair blue like Kylie Jenner, I’m still trying to understand why that’s a trend). Nevertheless, as it should be assumed, not everyone is the same. Not all blondes like bright colors and Lilly Pulitzer, and not all blondes claim to identify with Marilyn Monroe. I think the best suggestion to give to people before they make such radical claims is to stop judging a book by its cover. Or in this case, stop judging a blonde by her hair color.

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My birthday has never been my favorite holiday. I've found that I'm more excited to celebrate my friends' and family members' birthdays more than my own. I don't like being the center of attention, so I usually celebrate over dinner with a small group of family and friends. This way, I can enjoy myself naturally without feeling like I have to entertain everyone and make sure they are satisfied. In the past when I've had large parties, I was so nervous that people weren't perfectly content that I didn't enjoy myself at my own celebration.

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Never Have I Ever ... Until College.

Growing up there were things I had never done ... but then I came to college.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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