Knowing they should've been in your life leaves you with questions. What were they like? What would they have been if they grew up? How would they have affected me? Would we have been close? Would she have been the sister I've always wanted?
My mind always wanders back to you.
It's a strange feeling having not met someone that should've been so important in your life—the feeling of a piece missing from your family but not understanding exactly what that piece is. You don't know if you should be sad or have no feeling at all, but it is always something in the back of your mind, all the what if's.
As the ifs build, so do the possibilities. The possibilities of how they might have impacted your life. I am always left thinking about how my life could have been changed.
Can one person impact your life so much that it changes your path? What if that person is gone? Is your life forever shifted?
Being around my friend's mom, I can feel the love and connection she has for her children. With my mom, I was always annoyed thinking she's too overprotective and ridiculous. But as I get older I realize that her protective mama bear trait is so strong because she lives in fear of losing another child.
As I hear stories about her I wish I could've met her.
If I had a chance to meet you, I would have so much to say and so much to do, but now all I want to say is I wish you had a chance.
Chance to do what you want…be restricted.
Chance to love…hate.
Chance to be happy…sad.
Chance to live.