To you I will be the girl who was never good enough. I will be the girl who you couldn't change no matter how hard you tried. The girl who finally hit her breaking point and ended up turning against herself. For what? Why would you damage a perfectly fine girl who would do whatever it took to see a smile on your face? Why would you sit there and yell at someone who has had a history of abuse? Why would you sit there and be okay with a girl questioning her self worth because you feel she wasn't good enough for you?
See the thing is I am good enough. I get up every morning no matter how I feel and head to work where I bust my ass to help those when they reach their lowest. I sit there and make ends meet when I have more bills to take on than your average 22 year old. I sit there and figure it out and that figuring it out causes more stress than you can ever imagine. I worked full time, graduated with honors, and have a career. I am good enough because I put your needs before my own and in the process I ended up losing sight of who I was. I am good enough because I never gave up on you or on anything else in this world. I was there when you hit rock bottom and I helped you get back up. You say I hurt you but in reality all I did was support you. I hurt myself.
You can sit there and call me selfish or a narcissist but I am the complete opposite of that. I never once was selfish, you made me sit there and think that I was but reflecting back I was never selfish. I put all of your needs first and made sure that everyone else had what they needed before myself. I was raised to look out for everyone else but me and in the end that's what always bites me in the ass. You want selfish I can show you selfish. You told me I am narcissistic but I am far from that as well. A narcissist is arrogant, self centered, and demanding and I never once displayed those character traits to you. You were the center of my life and I made the choices and decisions to make sure at the end of the day you had all you needed. My self confidence is and always has been at an all time low so never once was I arrogant. I never demanded a damn thing. All I asked for was for you to treat me like your actual girlfriend rather than just a friend. But I guess that is demanding. In reality that is life and that is what is expected in a relationship.
For awhile you did have me thinking that I wasn't good enough and that I was in the wrong but the wake up call is your words and actions that you had were just a reflection of yourself. You can't own up to your problems and mistakes so instead you took them out on me and made me think that I was the one with the problems. See I fell in love with you but in the process I fell out of love with myself.
But at the end of the day you will always say I wasn't good enough but the truth is I AM GOOD ENOUGH.
