Let me start off by staying that I have nothing but respect for anyone who commits their life to defend our country. This article has nothing to do with me thinking poorly about the military or what it stands for. What this article does have to deal with is the fact that the most men in uniform have unpredictable schedules, and my little heart could never deal with that. Sorry (not sorry) boys, but I need 24/7 attention and affection; I'm needy like that.
Men in uniform have become this incredible sex symbol for women in recent years. You'll hear in any chick flick or rom-com all about how the lead female thinks that "there's nothing sexier than a man in uniform," and then they cue the montage of oiled up and shirtless men in a policeman's outfits or fireman's outfit while sliding down the fire pole. I mean for christ's sake they have an adult's coloring book dedicated to hot, mostly shirtless men in uniforms (click here for it, you're welcome ladies.) But as we idealize this fantasy more and more I think we forget the reality of dating someone in uniform.
A very good friend of mine has a boyfriend in the Navy and for a majority of their relationship, he's been deployed or on base. They just moved in together in April after he came home from deployment and by the beginning of June, he was right back on the boat for another three-month deployment. I know she and him are "the one" for one another, and I have no doubt they'll make it work and live happily ever after, but I just couldn't imagine living the rest of my life like that.
My friend's boyfriend's next job is going to be in Virginia, which is just a short five-hour plane ride (read as pure sarcasm.) And while his deployments are supposed to be shorter than those in his current position, they will be more secretive. He could be on asked to go to the other side of the world on a moments notice and he's not allowed to tell anyone where he's going or when he'll be back. They've had to create code phrases to let each other know what's going on, and even that is as vague as possible. When he's told he's going on deployment, he'll call and tell her "Honey, work is running late, but I'll be home soon." And that's it. I can't live my life with vague phone calls and top secret missions, no matter how sexy Tom Cruise and Hollywood try to make it seem.
I know what you're thinking, "Well Sara, that's just men in the armed forces, what about policemen or firemen? They're not constantly on deployment!" And while technically you are correct, my thoughts on the topic remain the same. I just couldn't do it. Policemen, for the most part, are supposed to be these brave people who fight to protect us, but how I am supposed to be okay with letting my husband and father of my children leave the house every morning knowing he could very easily be in a life or death situation? I'd never stop stressing or worrying about it. I just wouldn't be mentally or emotionally strong enough to live my whole life with that uncertainty.
Let me just finish this off by saying again, I have nothing against people in the army or police, my issues aren't with what those men or their organizations stand for. I simply could never live a life of such uncertainty. So I will just continue to drool over the hot men in uniform that my bless my TV screen on TV shows like Chicago PD (I mean have you seen Jesse Lee Soffer?), and I will also continue to tip my hat to the incredible men and women who can manage being in a relationship with members of our armed forces and protectors.
