"I cost a girl her life because I was afraid to love her" Clay Jenson, the 17 year-old protagonist from Netflix's 13 Reasons Why, confesses to his school counselor following the suicide of his love interest Hannah Baker. Before Hannah died, she recorded thirteen reasons why she decided to slit her arms in the bathtub of her house one evening; each tape was dedicated to one person. The show follows twelve teens as they try to uncover the mystery behind Hannah Baker's suicide.

This Netflix teen drama is based off Jay Asher's novel Thirteen Reasons Why published in 2007. When I first heard it was coming out with a TV series I was ecstatic; Netflix has been in a drought of good teen drama since Glee ended. I read this book a year and a half ago and remember connecting with Hannah's insecurity as well as the shy crush she had on Clay. The book had a remarkable insight to what really goes on behind the doors of high schools everywhere. The producer's spin off fell short of conveying the same vulnerability Hannah had. Her character in the show lacked the compassion and sadness, instead she played her death as almost a revenge tactic to carpet her peers with everlasting guilt.

As someone whose suffered with some of the same issues as Hannah, I was upset and felt violated about how they were portrayed in the show. A certain scene that was especially dissatisfying was the scene where Baker decided to take her own life. Hannah's suicide scene was gruesome to watch. From seeing blood spew from her veins to watching the bathtub progressively turn to a deep shade of red, the scene itself was insanely graphic and not suitable for television. Instead of the producers exploring what goes on inside the head of someone getting ready to take their own life, they almost provided a step by step tutorial on how to do it. I'm sorry, but watching Hannah Baker cut her wrists in HD does not scream suicide prevention.

I unfortunately know someone who was lost to suicide. Along with finding his restless body one afternoon, his family found a note he left for them. The note itself was incoherent, sometimes he rambled for so long it was like he was trying to stretch out his last moments as long as he could. He wanted his family to know that his heart was filled with love for them, and he wanted them to find the strength to move on. In 13 Reasons Why, all Hannah left for her family was her unresponsive body in the bathroom of their home. And as for her friends, she left them hours explaining how they drove her to this point.

If someone you know has taken their own life, it is not your fault. Hannah leaving behind tapes blaming her classmates for a choice that she ultimately made entirely on her own was unjust. With this being said, harassing people and taking control of their body without consent have a colossal psychological impacts on someone that can be irreversible. 13 Reasons Why had the opportunity and the platform to tell a raw uncut story of how mental illness drains someone to the point of death. Instead, it tells a glamorized story of a girl exposing her peers and dealing with her pain in the most catastrophic way possible.

Suicide isn't a romantic saga of a boy pining over you and confessing he loves you when it's too late. And if that's all you took from this show, I am so sorry. Suicide is sleeping for hours and feeling a pit in your stomach when you wake up. Suicide is hours spent sobbing in social worker's offices and swallowing prescribed capsules and praying when it dissolves you'll finally start to feel something. Suicide is depression and suicide is mental illness; both essential and vital factors the show didn't address.

13 Reasons Why has been doing insanely well in the media, and has brought a lot of attention to suicide in young adults. Aside from this, the message of suicide prevention got lost somewhere along the way. There were an inexplicable amount of warning signs of mental illness, but the words "depression" or 'PTSD" were never taught or none the less, mentioned.

If you are or know someone who suffering through depression or if you are feeling suicidal; you are not alone. There is always help. These illnesses are no different than the common cold in the sense they need to be treated. Treatment can come in many forms including medication and therapy; taking your own life is not a treatment rather a permanent end to a temporary problem.

I am going to leave this article with crisis hotlines to call as well as a quote of something I had wish I heard sooner. If you do decide to watch this show, take the message from it with a grain of salt, and most importantly, stay safe.

"Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce. In summer, we work hard to make a tidy garden, bordered by pansies with rows or clumps of columbine, petunias, bleeding hearts. Then we find ourselves longing for the forest, where everything has the appearance of disorder; yet we feel peaceful there." -- Natalie Goldberg

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: 1-800-273-8255