It was a typical Friday night for this sorority girl. I had my outfit picked out, my drinks ready with multiple mixing options. My Snapchat was on fire and I had my go-to playlist up on Spotify. I grabbed my bag and headed to campus for a great start to my weekend. I got off the elevator and walked to the nearest arm chair, plopped my laptop on the table and squished my toes in my purple knit slippers while I waited for MySQL Workbench 6.3 CE to load. Placing two hands around my mug full of locally-brewed coffee, I turned down my study playlist and took a preparatory sip—Friday, 9:45pm, time to get stuff done.

I got in ready position and took out my to-do list to coordinate the order of my weekend tasks. When I realized I could finish all of my work by Sunday morning a surge of relief came over me; I could take a break this weekend. I finished the last item on my to-do list on Sunday at 10:00am. Afterward, my mental log is as follows: scroll through Facebook, take successful Snapchat selfie, watch two episodes of “American Horror Story”, think about cleaning apartment, imagine infinite and expensive guacamole possibilities, Facebook again, eat stale tortilla chips as there is no guacamole, sleep, watch “Bob’s Burgers”, then switch to “Raising Hope”—10:00pm, boredom.

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When Sunday night finally came I was utterly disappointed in myself for surrendering my break to the internet. I should have used my time better. I could have written a story, painted on canvas, or done something fun like a hobby. Pause. Do I have a hobby? A hobby has to be something you do in your free time regularly, or at least once in a while, that isn’t related to work. When I have free time I turn to Netflix because I barely have the energy to do anything else after pushing through massive lists of tasks. Sometimes, I do also eat food while watching Netflix. Since eating food simply cannot be considered a hobby when there is no guacamole, Netflix is my only hobby. I spend almost all of my free time streaming television shows—this may be the most depressing thing I have ever realized. Even worse, this is common for most students.

As a student at Milwaukee School of Engineering (MSOE), my evenings are usually filled with coding and an unhealthy amount of coffee or loose-leaf tea. I continually take over 16 credits a quarter, work multiple part-time jobs, am involved in student organizations, and am constantly worried that a potential employer might find a Facebook post from middle school where I discussed the benefits of using goat’s milk as shampoo. My to-do lists regularly span multiple pages because I want to beef up my resume, have some assemblance of a life (but also gain leadership experience), and graduate on time while learning everything my major promised me I would. I don’t want to miss important college experiences, but I also don’t want to graduate without a job. Some people are scared of their face being crawled on by spiders, I am terrified of that, too. But failure terrifies me just as much. Not being prepared is what haunts me every morning; when I wake up the first thing I do is check my e-mail.

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Sure, I’m busy. But I never notice how busy I am until I have a break like on that Sunday afternoon. What we do in our first break after a long stretch of stress says a lot about who we are as people. My choice to continue to stare at a computer screen may have been me clutching to reality. How can I have a real hobby or do anything purely for enjoyment when I spend so much time working or thinking about what I should be working on. Like anyone I have go-to pastimes that I say when first introducing myself, “Hi, I’m Maya and I like art.” Nobody wants to say, “Hi, I’m Maya and I’ve watched every season of “Gilmore Girls” and “Bob’s Burgers” on Netflix… twice” (just so you’re aware, this means I have heard the song, “Where You Lead” by Carole King,over 300 times). When students take a precious moment to sit and realize that the only things they do regularly are related to school, work, or student commitments they will probably see that their lives revolve around a screen as well.

At MSOE this is normal, particularly due to the quarter scheduling. With only ten weeks to complete five courses (most of which are math or science based), it is socially acceptable to constantly stress about classes, work, and student organizations. So we turn to Netflix. Our mentors expect us to have hobbies? At the end of the day all I want is watch Tina Belcher say something creepy about pants. The stress is just too much for me to have the energy to really dive into anything fun when I do have free time.

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We are creating a generation of people who can’t do anything except be productive. As soon as the stress dies down or becomes absolutely unbearable, they let go of everything and do nothing. I do this, my friends do this. Almost every single person I know works so hard during the school year that when the summer comes they don’t know what to do with their free time – so they jump head first into Netflix. When students become full-time employees what will they do after 5:00 pm? They are going to run out of shows at some point; some already have as binge-watching has become a legitimate activity. Eventually, society will resort to creating television shows based on over-privileged people made of tan lines who have nothing to bring to the Jersey Shore except for leftover hair gel. Oh. Wait.

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I need something to keep me sane. It was probably time to start a real hobby, preferably one with fun outfits. So I went through my schedule looking for a day that I could devote to trying something and really diving into it. I wanted to learn about it and get excited to start it. I found a single day, three weeks from when I began looking, that was free from work, classes, and other obligations. I put it in my calendar as I must with everything, “all about me day”. The 24 hours indicated by a neon green rectangle on my smart phone was comforting in an unexpected way. I had never planned to have time just for myself and was actually really looking forward to relaxing. Not two hours later I got a text from a family I nanny for asking if I was available that weekend. I said “of course” because I’m broke. I am so broke that when Chipotle reminds me that guacamole is extra I actually hesitate. I’m in college and I work hard, I deserve that guacamole. So I removed my “all about me day” and walked to my next class.

As a student, I am forced to put most of my time into paying for an education when I should be focusing that energy into my courses. While the cost of being a student is hefty, the cost of living doesn’t go down because you have tests. Most students still pay for their own rent, food, and the electricity needed to run the fridge that holds delicious condiments (guacamole not included). Even students with scholarships, such as myself, have to make sure our grades stay above the minimum so we don’t instantly go into massive debt. At the end of the day, students who come from privileged homes and who are not paying for much in terms of living expenses or education are still pressured to work while in school. Getting a job after graduation relies sometimes solely relies on prior experience, the voice in the back of everyone’s minds shouts “get an internship, like, right now.” The one friend who doesn’t have an internship wants one. Not having a job in college is like not knowing who Beyonce is—you are out of the loop. The social pressures to get an internship are just as strong as the financial reliance.

Is it also the social pressure that convinces me to keep up to date with “How to Get Away With Murder?” Maybe. While I know my friends’ interests influence mine, I like to pretend I can think for myself and am able to be true to my own wants or needs. The problem is that these wants cannot be accessed. They are deep down in the bowels of my brain underneath calculus and JavaScript. Below the depths of the glossary of design terms lies a betrayed desire, my hobby is there, but I’m just too stressed out to go digging for it.

The topic of stress is one commonly tossed between my peers, even professors and administration seem to at least somewhat understand how overwhelmed the average MSOE student is. Yet there have been few changes that target student relaxation. This is not difficult thing to address. It is common knowledge that we can decrease our stress by asking for help when we need it, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. MSOE could make modest fixes can be to the tutoring center, cafeteria, and promote the student health center. Instead, the school has chosen to pour all efforts into Student Life-packing our calendars even more. Unfortunately, this is common practice at most college campuses. I expect the reason to have something to do with turning tuition-paying students into free event planners. Having Student Life be the backbone of de-stress opportunities for students on campus means that the school saves a ton of money. They have free planning, free advertising, and even free workers for the event itself. Putting money into hiring professional tutors for the courses students are unable to help with, getting healthier food for the cafeteria, and developing health clubs or extending the hours of the fitness center on campus would all cost more than free. While the campus has made some evident improvements, like moving the technical support center to a more accessible location, there is so much more that could be done if they were more willing to put money into this. It is understandable that a school would want to save money where it can, especially as it is rapidly growing.

MSOE is focused on increasing the student body and expanding the campus, all while maintaining an impressive faculty-student ratio. These are admirable goals, but should we add to an already flailing population of young adults? Some might say we can continue to grow as much as we want until the bandwidth becomes too slow to stream Netflix. Nobody wants buffering while watching “Buffy”. No matter how many students are at MSOE, they will all have brains stuffed to capacity with formulas and mental maps of the science building. At the end of the day we need to learn how to help ourselves. As any industrial engineering major will tell you, efficiency is key.

Double-dipping is how many students accomplish multiple tasks: planning out campus errands to avoid walking back-and-forth, doing all of the research for multiple papers in one sitting so that they don’t have to keep logging into the online library and printing everything for the week at once so an inevitable broken printer doesn’t kill our flow.

I would be able to take up a real hobby if it were something I could do while I get something done, but that defeats the purpose. I figured could settle for trying something that is fun but also relaxing. Remembering the ways to decrease stress, eating healthily and exercising, I tried a couple—all fails.

It wasn’t until later that I realized my anxiety stemmed from a mental block preventing me from enjoying anything unproductive. When you constantly focus on the most efficient way to complete tasks (the only way to complete them all on time) your brain switches into a different mode. After trying to doodle I realized how in tune my body was with my mind, my brain always focusing on the moving on to the next task. My body stopped wanting to strive for happiness, but was content with satisfaction as long as it didn’t have to think about it. This is why I felt anxious—I felt like drawing was a waste of time.

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The stress that accompanies creativity doesn’t help. With ideas so highly valued in our culture it is engrained in us not only to complete work, but to go above and beyond. We want to step outside of the box, to an idea to be good enoughto meet higher standards. That said, being creative is as difficult as any test. Is this the only reason why couldn’t I just sit and enjoy the calmness? I’m not sure. The entire time I was worried about how much longer I had before I had to go back to being productive. We all feel this way at least sometimes, constantly trying to move toward the next goal or objective or event. It’s times like these when the cliché, “live in the moment,” actually resonates and makes us want to create graphics with fancy WordArt. Forcing ourselves to notice what we have in front of us can help. However, the root of the issue is truly in our inability to accept that, as a society, we don’t need to do something every moment. Sometimes it is okay to just be. But, let’s be honest, it is so much easier to be while watching a show. Coloring or doodling could never be as relaxing as something completely mindless, like “Freaks and Geeks”.

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Television allows us to immerse ourselves in another world while completely letting go of every forced brain function. As long as we keep our eyes open, sometimes this is not even necessary, we can be transported for however long we want. It lets you forget your problems and helps break down that mental block that stopped you from drawing because you don’t have to think. All you need to do is sit. Streaming shows by yourself in your underwear means you have nobody to be accountable to, nobody to remind you of the paper due at midnight, and nobody to ask you to join a student committee.

Netflix is my only hobby because it helps me recharge. Crafts, collections, and tinkering mean I have to engage myself in what I am doing. But hobbies that focus my attention other places makes me concerned about what I really should be devoting my time. Netflix gives me permission to let go because it breaks down the part of my brain that makes me want to be responsible.

Before we could stream television on our computers people went to the movies, out to see plays, or dancing to experience the same mental release. People still do these things. But, maybe not as often. These all require us to communicate with others, to coordinate and to plan. I do this all day and all week. When I finally get a break I don’t want to feel accountable to anyone anymore. When I hide under my comforter listening to Seeley Booth’s soothing baritone question suspects nobody cares what I am wearing, thinking, or if I fall asleep. I can do whatever I want even if that means just sitting and becoming somewhat of a vegetable for 47 minutes.

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Sitting here in the campus center at 1:15 am on, what is now, a Saturday I am concerned by how many other people have surrendered their weekends to Microsoft Office. At least a handful of my peers sit near me, none without a stressed contemplating brow or frustrated grimace. You know the face I mean. The only way to truly find release from this is to take time for ourselves and do something fun. Since we don’t have time to do that without sacrificing our grades or income, I hereby give you permission to go ahead and stress some more. It’s understandable. When you see that there’s some free time in your future do what you can. Sometimes, that means sitting in bed with a giant pillow, hot chocolate, and your favorite television characters. It’s okay to watch Netflix. It’s okay to measure your Saturday in 47 minute increments and spend 20 minutes with your best friend arguing about what to watch. When your energy is nonexistent and you need to leave society for a little while, it’s okay to just eat some guacamole and take a break. We all need breaks to refill our tanks and Netflix gives us over fifteen genres of fuel to choose from.

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