As a college student, casual sex is something I see and hear about from my peers on a weekly basis. With the use of social media, especially dating apps such as Tinder, it's somehow easier than other to have a casual fling with someone.
Yet, there is still a negative connotation to casual sex, especially when it's pinned on women.
Why?
Growing up as a young teenager, I watched shows like "Friends," "Sex and the City," and "Shameless"—all shows that depicted casual sex among adults in their 20's and 30's. Therefore, I grew to think it was normal as long as you were being safe and consensual. But in this day and age, it seems more taboo than I thought it would be.
You'd think, in a place that offers free condoms in at least three places on campus, college would be more of an accepting place for people who like a nice time every once in a while.
The thing about the negative stigma is that it's, of course, placed more on women than men, which makes slut-shaming more prominent. But, when it comes to men, no one bats an eye. Many of the men I know in college brag to everyone about all the girls they've slept with, but the minute a girl wants to have sex with one or two men in an entire school year, sometimes longer, she's a "dirty slut who can't keep her legs closed."
Most of us have some kind of desire for intimacy every once in a while, and to be okay with half of the human race acting on those desires while shaming the other half is highly unfair.
Now, to me, there's a difference between casual sex and hookup culture. For me, casual sex may be with a person you've been seeing or talking to and participate in sexual acts together, but you're not in an actual relationship. Hookup culture is more of seeking a person for the sole purpose of having sex and that's it. Some people may prefer one over the other, both, or even despise them.
But, if you are going to participate in any intimate act with anyone, make sure to be safe and consensual, always.
To shame anyone or wanting to pleasure themselves and someone else without an actual commitment is like shaming someone for not wanting sex at all. It's a matter of choice, preference, and taking care of a natural need. Don't praise a guy for getting out there and having sex, while shaming a girl for doing the exact same thing.
As long as you're protected and consensual, what's the problem?
