I need a relationship?

It seems like everyone’s worth is based on whether they are in a relationship or not. Apparently, the biggest accomplishment in a woman’s life is to get married and have children. When I was in junior high and high school, I thought I was the most disgusting person in the whole world because boys didn’t talk to me or show any interest in me whatsoever, and I never got asked to any dances – I never had a date to any school dances, never went to prom, nothing.

Now I’m starting my junior year of college here at LCSC, and I have been in a relationship with the most amazing person for over a year now. I feel so happy and I feel so loved every day. That insecurity is still there, though, never thinking that I’m good enough to be in a relationship.

Why does it seem like it is a requirement to be in a relationship in high school? Or even in college? I couldn’t imagine my life without my significant other, and I am so happy to be with him. But, I wish I hadn’t spent so many years hating myself because I didn’t have a boyfriend.

I got a smartphone the summer after my freshman year of college, so I thought, why don’t I download Tinder? People usually make fun of you when you get on Tinder, so I didn’t really share it with anyone. I met one person, which damaged me more than anything. I felt so desperate for a guy to like me, I didn’t care who it was or what they did. I did things I told myself I would never do, and I regret it all the time, but it has made me stronger today because of it. I actually value myself now enough to not let anyone hurt me.

It’s really crazy that I would try meeting another person on Tinder, but I did! This time, it turned out even more amazing than I could have ever imagined. That was a year ago, and I fall more in love with him every day. He is the strongest and greatest person I know.

Waiting for Happiness

I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 18. I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was 19 years old. I’m glad I didn’t have any immature high school relationships because I might not have met my boyfriend and I wouldn’t feel as good as I do now.

The bottom line is, you don’t have to have a relationship when you’re a teenager, it’s not a requirement. It’s OK to wait until you’re in your twenties. I feel so much more mature in my relationship than I would have if I was in high school. My boyfriend and I go to college in different cities – it may only be a 40-minute drive, but I still only see him once or twice a month. It is extremely difficult, but we make it through because we love each other and want to be together.

Waiting for the right person may not always be ideal, and it can definitely be extremely frustrating, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. There’s no one I’d rather be with than my boyfriend. It took me a very long time to realize I don’t need to feel horrible about myself if I don’t have a boyfriend, but it’s the truth! I still have a long ways to go to really love myself, but I have someone by my side who does love me and is there for me every step of the way, and I think this can be true for anyone who is reading this.