So lately I have been struggling with allowing myself to open up to new people. I've been thinking about the fact that it has been two and a half years since I had a serious boyfriend. He broke my heart and I have closed it off ever since then. I don't let people in like I used to and because of that, I can't have anything serious in my life.
It's time that I need to open my heart again. I need to feel love like I used to. I miss the feeling of always having that person there for me. I'm tired of feeling alone and constantly wondering whether or not I will ever find someone. After a long talk with one of my roommates, I have come to a couple conclusions.
As girls in college, we are always scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Not only are we seeing potential boyfriends and tons of selfies but we are constantly seeing pictures of girls getting engaged and married. All of a sudden, we have a sense of loneliness and fear that overtakes our mind. We get worried that we will never find the love of our lives and we panic at the thought of not getting married soon.
Every time this happens I take a step back and remember why I closed my heart so long ago: I wanted to live my own life first. I want to travel to different places. I want to try living in a city. I want to go out on weekends and hit up the bars with the girls. Sure a cuddle night with a boyfriend sounds great but in the long run, I know I'm going to be happy knowing that I lived life to the fullest in my twenties. I'm going to look back and be proud that I was independent, found myself and learned to love myself before ever trying to love someone else.
