Ever since I can remember I have been told that it is okay to ask for help and that there is no such thing as a dumb question, yet there still exists a sense of vulnerability whenever I seek advice, guidance, or the support of another person.
Asking for help is like admitting to failure. It’s hard! Raising my hand in my huge lecture hall is almost impossible, reaching out to my professors during office hours, or even asking for my friend’s opinion seems to be extremely unreasonable in the moment.
With all this being said, I can almost guarantee that if I were to ask my friends they would say that I ask way too many questions and seek for support whenever possible. Regardless of the situation or the amount of times I ask for help, it never gets easier. In the moment, it can often feel like putting an unnecessary burden on another person. It can also make you feel inferior to the given circumstance, but in almost all situations this is false. The voice in your head, telling you that you’re not intelligent or that you are not worthy is a direct representation that you can be your worst enemy. Overanalyzing situations, doubting yourself, and focusing entirely on your flaws only limits your potential.
Today, I went to my professors office hours, to the math learning center, to my residential advisor, and I also asked a random guy for a red shirt because I didn’t have one. As a result, I learned that my professor is incredibly approachable and can provide guidance with my future ambitions in addition to teaching his course. The tutors in the math learning center taught me that math can be fun, and they have already given me the hope necessary to stay motivated. My residential advisor let me study with her, and I further understood the comfort that comes from genuine human interactions. After borrowing a random guy’s shirt, I realized that most people are always willing to help, but the misinterpreted stigma of asking for help interferes with actually receiving support. In contrast to asking for help, offering help can also spark these similar feelings of uncertainty.
What do you do when you see a disabled individual struggling to perform an everyday task? Do you help them? You can pretend like you didn’t see them and continue on with your day. After all, there are so many people watching and being passive; maybe you aren’t supposed to help. Why would it be rude to help? Why aren’t people doing anything? Perhaps, asking if they would like to be helped is the easiest way to be useful in the situation.
Today, I saw a student struggling to push 3 moving carts to the other end of campus towards his residence hall. It was very hot outside and he was sweating profusely as he struggled to push them all at the same time. It upset me that students were walking around him as if he was nonexistent. I offered to help him, and not surprisingly, he assuredly denied my offer. Me helping him push carts down the road, in the opposite direction that I was headed, seemed very improbable to him. I was happy to help, yet throughout the entire time I helped him I could sense that he felt an immense amount of guilt. Ironically, if I were him I would have felt guilty too. This experience made me realize that helping someone in need or receiving voluntary help from another person is not as common as it should be. How many times have you walked past someone who clearly looked lost or contemplated helping someone because it seemed out of your place? I have done these multiple times, and everytime I always question why society generates this indecisiveness.
Lately, as I have been gaining more independence, I’m slowly understanding that asking for help has the potential to teach more raw lessons than simply searching for an answer on the internet. Receiving support from others is quickly convincing me that success cannot be derived from one person. In order to grow and learn about different perspectives, you need help. The lessons, memories, and friendships gained will result in your success. Success derives from a collection of individuals. Ask for help! You can’t do it alone.
