We Need Another Plague | The Odyssey Online
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Student Life

We Need Another Plague

What Sounds Better Than Death and Destruction? Food. Food Does.

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We Need Another Plague
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I am not an angry person. I'm really not. However, I sometimes have those few hours, days or weeks where I just feel like I am so ready for a plague to occur.

As many of you may not know, I have pretty bad anxiety. I refuse to go get treated for it because I do not want to be a zombie, despite the fact that my entire family is on medication. Since surviving the first two weeks of school and then driving furiously to work immediately after, a very exhausting task as is, the immense amount of people living in this town and newest edition to the college life is rather excessive this year than years before. This has made me come to the conclusion that we do, indeed, need another plague.

Now I am not fully serious, just to warn you now, because I do not want to hear how horrible of a person I am because let's face it, I already know that I am a horrible person, it is not breaking news to me.

When you gradually watch your town become more and more populated through the years, it is really astounding. Then it starts to get annoying. Five o clock traffic soon becomes 4 o clock traffic, then 3, then 2, then there is really no good time to leave your house really other than an hour before work or school. Sure, traffic sucks, however, battling off traffic just to then face the war on parking at the university is not my ideal situation after hand. So then you spend a solid 15 minutes driving around just looking for a spot, wasting gas, contemplating why you spent 100 dollars on a parking permit for the school parking if you could not use it in the slightest bit in the first place. So you eventually find a parking spot, a parking spot a solid 2 miles away from your class, lovely. So then you spend the next 15 minutes walking, or frantically running to your class, even though you know you are already late because you did not plan parking all the way out in Timbuktu. Then you arrive to your class, stay there for an hour since the school system is now in semester system instead of your favorite quarter system you already miss so much so this hellish cycle could end earlier. You then understand you have only 15 minutes to get out of your class and make it back to your car, then somehow portal to work, all in 15 minutes, yet it takes a solid 10 minutes of sprinting in the heat to just get to your car. You then have to use your frantic crazy lady powers while driving even though you know that it will take clearly more than 5 minutes to get to work, resulting in you getting to work a solid 10 minutes late every time, summoning disappointment in your crazy lady skills. At this point, you start contemplating destruction of all forms of civilization, standing at work sweating like no tomorrow after running and driving like a maniac, which isn't the best thought to have when you work in retail and have to deal with the public.

Thank God you have a solution to keep you calm and smiling though, a slow conniving thought forms in your brain that includes death and destruction to the over populated town you live in, another 14th century black plague needs to be pushed into effect. As you start to contemplate summoning the darkest forms of evil via alchemy and dark magic, you reach your break at work and you become surprised and began to notice that you were hungry and needed to eat something all along, so you eat some tasty food and realize that is why you wanted to murder everyone in the first place, so you instantly turn from a ravenous psychotic to a happy go lucky 20 year old girl again. You know, like those Snickers commercials.

Moral of the story, do not try to conquer the world when you are hungry and running about, you will start to have dark thoughts including death and disease and transforming into Satan's best friend.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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