2018 NBA All-Stars, As Told By '90s Television Characters | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Sports

2018 NBA All-Stars, As Told By '90s Television Characters

Coach Popovich would love this, or should I say Mr. Ratburn!!!

193
2018 NBA All-Stars, As Told By '90s Television Characters
Nickelodeon

LaMarcus Aldridge: Corey "in the House"

After years on top, a multi-decade dynasty of five NBA championships, Tim Duncan, David Robinson, a glorious run, San Antonio is left with LaMarcus Aldridge. Still solid, but man, you miss those old days. That's kind of how "Corey in the House" was after "That's So Raven".

Giannis Antetokounmpo: Jesse Katsopolis

Two Greek Freaks! Uncle Jesse's power is looking like this at 54. Giannis's power is playing like this at 23. Jesse also writes jingles.

Bradley Beal: SpongeBob SquarePants

"Everybody Eats" is his motto for the Washington Wizards. SpongeBob gets this selfless mentality and how it is a success-driver.

Jimmy Butler: Vince LaSalle

Bro, it looks just like him.

Stephen Curry: Mojo Jojo

The powerful bad guy we all love to hate; there wouldn't be a plot without them. Don't forget their co-conspirators Kevin Durant and that cross-dressing lobster.

Anthony Davis: Helga G. Pataki


DeMar DeRozan & Kyle Lowry: CatDog

Hey, it's these two! They got a dope thing going but mostly whatever.

Goran Dragic: Gibby

He lives in Miami, is named Goran Dragic, and is what I would describe as creepy-handsome. Like Gibby, I can't begin to conjure up what his life might be like when he's not on-screen.

Andre Drummond: Ned Bigby

As evidenced by some recent Instagram shade-tossin', Andre's got a hot take for every situation.

Kevin Durant: Angelica Pickles

Though marquee characters, everybody sort of hates Angelica/Durantula because they do shitty things to get what they want. Hate on haters; they basically have final say on all decisions and run the show.

Joel Embiid: Jorgen Von Strangle

Joel is just about as muscly and badass as Jorgen Von Strangle, and also shares his propensity for some silliness.

Paul George: Carlos

Great defender, great shooter–Paul George is one of the best role players in the game. "Magic School Bus" is all about role players. It certainly ain't the Carlos show, but his presence is fucking felt. And imagine how weird it would be with just Miss Frizzle, creepin' around in nostrils and shit.

Draymond Green: Larry Beale

He's a dickhead, just joyfully trolling and fucking up people's days–but also funny, so you sort of like him.

James Harden: He-Man, Eternia's Greatest Champion

The Beard is probably the best player in the NBA right now and for that reason, I am giving him the title of He-Man, Eternia's Greatest Champion, Master of the Universe.

Al Horford: Maurice "Twister" Rodriguez

Kyrie Irving is the "Otto" of the Celtics, but don't sleep on their Twister. Woogitty, Woogitty.

Kyrie Irving: Bill Nye the Science Guy

A love for science unites them! Bill is in the round-Earth camp and Kyrie is in the flat-Earth camp of a debate which will probably never be settled.

LeBron James: Ash Ketchum

He wants to be the very best, like no one ever was, and is still out there traveling across "the Land" to prove that he can be, because no one believes it yet. Jordan baby!

Damien Lillard: Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana

A handful of rap albums in the books, "Dame D.O.L.L.A." is living that best of both worlds life, ya heard?

Victor Oladipo: Stoop Kid

The guy was an Indiana Hoosier and now plays for the Indiana Pacers. There's a lot of world out there Victor! It's almost as if...just kidding, Victor is from Maine and also played for Orlando, so Stoop Kid is still the verified biggest bitch of all time.

Kristaps Porzingis: that Italian guy on a Vespa from the Lizzie McGuire movie

A guy talks a little different and everyone just swoons huh? Well, I got news Lizzie: that handsome head of spaghetti isn't the answer to your coming-of-age problems, and as for you Knicks, you're still awful.

Klay Thompsen: Ed, Edd n Eddy

Too weird looking for me.

Karl-Anthony Towns: Carl Wheezer

CAARRRL!

Russell Westbrook: this guy

I don't even remember what the fuck this is, but Russ dresses pretty zany kind of like him.

Injured Players: Steve from Blue's Clues

REPLACED!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

1896
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4851
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2985
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

202379
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments