2018 NBA All-Stars, As Told By '90s Television Characters | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Sports

2018 NBA All-Stars, As Told By '90s Television Characters

Coach Popovich would love this, or should I say Mr. Ratburn!!!

193
2018 NBA All-Stars, As Told By '90s Television Characters
Nickelodeon

LaMarcus Aldridge: Corey "in the House"

After years on top, a multi-decade dynasty of five NBA championships, Tim Duncan, David Robinson, a glorious run, San Antonio is left with LaMarcus Aldridge. Still solid, but man, you miss those old days. That's kind of how "Corey in the House" was after "That's So Raven".

Giannis Antetokounmpo: Jesse Katsopolis

Two Greek Freaks! Uncle Jesse's power is looking like this at 54. Giannis's power is playing like this at 23. Jesse also writes jingles.

Bradley Beal: SpongeBob SquarePants

"Everybody Eats" is his motto for the Washington Wizards. SpongeBob gets this selfless mentality and how it is a success-driver.

Jimmy Butler: Vince LaSalle

Bro, it looks just like him.

Stephen Curry: Mojo Jojo

The powerful bad guy we all love to hate; there wouldn't be a plot without them. Don't forget their co-conspirators Kevin Durant and that cross-dressing lobster.

Anthony Davis: Helga G. Pataki


DeMar DeRozan & Kyle Lowry: CatDog

Hey, it's these two! They got a dope thing going but mostly whatever.

Goran Dragic: Gibby

He lives in Miami, is named Goran Dragic, and is what I would describe as creepy-handsome. Like Gibby, I can't begin to conjure up what his life might be like when he's not on-screen.

Andre Drummond: Ned Bigby

As evidenced by some recent Instagram shade-tossin', Andre's got a hot take for every situation.

Kevin Durant: Angelica Pickles

Though marquee characters, everybody sort of hates Angelica/Durantula because they do shitty things to get what they want. Hate on haters; they basically have final say on all decisions and run the show.

Joel Embiid: Jorgen Von Strangle

Joel is just about as muscly and badass as Jorgen Von Strangle, and also shares his propensity for some silliness.

Paul George: Carlos

Great defender, great shooter–Paul George is one of the best role players in the game. "Magic School Bus" is all about role players. It certainly ain't the Carlos show, but his presence is fucking felt. And imagine how weird it would be with just Miss Frizzle, creepin' around in nostrils and shit.

Draymond Green: Larry Beale

He's a dickhead, just joyfully trolling and fucking up people's days–but also funny, so you sort of like him.

James Harden: He-Man, Eternia's Greatest Champion

The Beard is probably the best player in the NBA right now and for that reason, I am giving him the title of He-Man, Eternia's Greatest Champion, Master of the Universe.

Al Horford: Maurice "Twister" Rodriguez

Kyrie Irving is the "Otto" of the Celtics, but don't sleep on their Twister. Woogitty, Woogitty.

Kyrie Irving: Bill Nye the Science Guy

A love for science unites them! Bill is in the round-Earth camp and Kyrie is in the flat-Earth camp of a debate which will probably never be settled.

LeBron James: Ash Ketchum

He wants to be the very best, like no one ever was, and is still out there traveling across "the Land" to prove that he can be, because no one believes it yet. Jordan baby!

Damien Lillard: Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana

A handful of rap albums in the books, "Dame D.O.L.L.A." is living that best of both worlds life, ya heard?

Victor Oladipo: Stoop Kid

The guy was an Indiana Hoosier and now plays for the Indiana Pacers. There's a lot of world out there Victor! It's almost as if...just kidding, Victor is from Maine and also played for Orlando, so Stoop Kid is still the verified biggest bitch of all time.

Kristaps Porzingis: that Italian guy on a Vespa from the Lizzie McGuire movie

A guy talks a little different and everyone just swoons huh? Well, I got news Lizzie: that handsome head of spaghetti isn't the answer to your coming-of-age problems, and as for you Knicks, you're still awful.

Klay Thompsen: Ed, Edd n Eddy

Too weird looking for me.

Karl-Anthony Towns: Carl Wheezer

CAARRRL!

Russell Westbrook: this guy

I don't even remember what the fuck this is, but Russ dresses pretty zany kind of like him.

Injured Players: Steve from Blue's Clues

REPLACED!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylor Swift in orange dress playing a moss-covered piano on stage with bright lights.

A three-and-a-half-hour runtime. Nine Eras. Eleven outfit changes. Three surprise songs. Zero breaks. One unforgettable evening. In the past century, no other performer has put on an electric performance quite like Taylor Swift, surpassing her fans ‘wildest dreams’. It is the reason supporters keep coming back to her shows each year. Days later, I’m still in awe of the spectacle ‘Miss Americana’ puts on every few days in a new city. And, like one of Taylor’s exes, has me smiling as I reminisce about the memories of the night we spent together.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

23695
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

9896
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

7168
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments