I liked a girl for the first time in 2011, and at the time, I didn't know much about what it meant to be queer. It wasn't a mainstream topic to talk about. I was already confused about what it meant to like both boys and girls, and the lack of representation and discussion made what I was feeling even more confusing for me.
I was only 11, so most of the shows I watched didn't have queer characters.
That is, except for "Glee," which I had started watching when it first premiered in 2009.
Glee was without a doubt a wild and problematic show, but it also featured characters like Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Brittany Pierce, and Santana Lopez, all members of the LGBTQ community.
I watched this show and these characters' love stories on it at a time when I was first questioning my own sexuality, and at the time, I don't think I realized how important that was to me.
Looking back on it now, I am so thankful for these characters and what they did for me.
Santana and Brittany started as best friends who occasionally hooked up, but they developed into an iconic WLW couple with depth, struggles, and endless love for one another.
They weren't a perfect couple, and their relationship was never easy.
They showed the struggles of Santana coming out to her conservative family and the fear that comes along with the process of coming out to the people you love.
They showed how queerness is used as a threat and an attack against the LGBTQ community when Finn outed Santana before she was ready. They showed homophobia and the double-standard that comes with being a same-sex couple when complaints were filed against Santana and Brittany for kissing in the halls at school while straight couples did the same with neither fear nor punishment.
They also showed how much love existed between the two characters and how happy they made each other.
Being a young girl who was trying to figure out her sexuality and was afraid of what it all meant, this representation was so important to me. It showed that being queer is okay.
It won't always be easy, but it's nowhere near a bad or dirty thing. It's something to be proud of and embrace.
Being a young girl who was figuring out who she was and going onto the internet to see people shipping a WLW couple and talking about how beautiful of a relationship Santana and Brittany had was so powerful.
I am so thankful to have had this representation when I probably needed it the most, and I am forever grateful that Naya Rivera fought to make it happen. She fought to make Santana and Brittany's relationship an actual plotline and not some little joke that was occasionally thrown in.
She fought for WLW representation because she knew how important it was and how many of us needed it.
Thank you, Naya Rivera, for being my first memory of queer representation. I hope you know how big of an impact you had on so many of us and how much you helped so many of us become comfortable with ourselves.
Rest in Peace, Naya Rivera.