No matter how cliché it sounds, you truly never know what another person is going through in their life. You just don't. This lesson has been reinforced to me in the past week, when I learned about the death of somebody I saw on a regular basis. And then, a few days later, the death of a co-worker's son hit me out of nowhere. That's one thing about growing up in a small town, if there's big news about someone, chances are they have some connection to you. Families have lived in the area for generations and so news spread fast. And it can hit you like a ton of bricks.

Think of how many people are in your work environment, school, hometown, state, country; the world itself contains so many different cultures and people that are living just like you. And truthfully, we all have our ups and downs. Unfortunately, it seems to be that we take the 'ups' in our lives for granted. We don't even notice that things have been going well until something bad happens. Then you wish more than anything that you could just squeeze your eyes and bring all those good times back. The simpler times, the times before a tragedy or a horrible moment that might have changed your life forever.

"Everything happens for a reason" is also an extremely difficult cliché for me to grasp. Many people, including myself, have a close relationship with God. We pray and we hope, and then we pray some more, all the while trying to look for answers. If someone goes through a tragedy it sometimes brings them closer to God. But there are also situations where tragedy drives a person away. Far away, because they can't fathom a reason for the loss of their child or loss of their parent. We search for answers and decide that if there is a reason why someone got horribly sick, or a reason for mental illness or terrible car accidents, then we live in a cruel place. There can't be reasons for these types of things, however, because that would mean that cruelty is justified. And how can we admit that?

I don't think that everything happens for a reason. It's not a simple cause and affect relationship when something in our lives goes horribly wrong. I do think there is a plan in life, some structured plan behind the chaos of life itself. And that is why people grow closer to God when things go bad, because we trust. We don't chalk it up to the "everything happens for a reason" anthem, but we accept the fact that we don't know what might have happened if this event did not occur. We don't trust in the reason, but in the grand scheme of life.

I learned a lot while standing on the sidelines and watching some friends and family go through truly tragic times, mourning the loss of a loved one. One person I knew and saw frequently, the other I did not know at all. And I equally felt remorse for both. Families go through things like this everyday. It could be a secret they keep from the outside world or something that everyone in town knows about and is crossing their fingers for it to go away. And because people go through hardships like these every day, we must gain some perspective.

I gained a lot of perspective. I learned that it is important to say sorry and forgive others. It is important to let your loved ones know that you care so much about them. We never know each other's inner battles, and that is something we must carry with us every day. We should be kind, and empathetic, and generous day in and day out. Some people might be at a very good point in their lives, on an "up" cycle where things are easy, busy, and happy. But some people might be going through their own "down" cycle in life. And since we never really know, maybe we should just be kind all the time, day in and day out. Forgive, be grateful, be patient. You'll never know about someones ups and downs, or their inner battles, or hardships. So gain some perspective, offer kindness, and pray that you individually have some terrific "ups" coming your way. No matter what cycle you're going through, the ups or downs of life, I hope you are surrounded by people who are kind, are supportive, and offer unconditional love. That's what keeps us all going.