Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Politics

Nation's Satire Writers Having A Hard Time Making Things Up About Trump

"He's always one step ahead of us."

Tucker Atwood

Dec 27, 2016

University of Maine

Nation's Satire Writers Having A Hard Time Making Things Up About Trump

Slate

Citing just about every aspect of Donald Trump's life, America's writers of satire reported on Friday that they are finding it hard to keep up with the ambitious satirical career of our future President. Though this was not a surprising announcement, it certainly overshadowed Aleppo, just as every other headline this week has.

"I thought [Trump] winning the election would bring in the next Golden Age for satire," reported a clearly shaken up Timothy Brandon, editor in chief of No News Is Good News. "But with every article we write, he seems to take it and run with it. He's always one step ahead of us."

So what does this mean for the future of entertainment in the news?

"Maybe the government will take over," said a desperate and heartbroken writer at Painless Prints who wishes to remain anonymous. "I hate to say it, but if Donald Trump came into our offices right now and applied to write here, we would hire him in a heartbeat. He's that good."

Recently, it appeared that the satire game against Trump was going to make a comeback, with hilarious articles poking fun at his connections to Russia and his popular Twitter account, but, unfortunately for "fake news" sites across the nation, every single piece of information in these articles ended up being completely true.

"We thought we had a great fake Twitter account all set up," explained a social media correspondent from Truth? Magazine. "We wanted to highlight the President-elect's disregard for important issues and his obsession with public image. However, lately we've just been copying and pasting all of Trump's real tweets, and our fanbase loves it. He's made us kind of lazy."

Is this the end of independently-run satire? Will this be just one other thing that Donald Trump runs into the ground?

"I'm just getting sick of it," reported the guy who is writing this article. "Every time I go to write a good satire, it always has to be 'Trump, Trump, Trump.' The King of Comedy. And he's already got such great work out there, I don't feel like I can even compare myself to him. Everything I write is just a Trump wannabe."

"That guy sucks," said Donald Trump, in response to the guy who is writing this article. "Time to retire the boring and unfunny writing. Tucker Atwood's Trump impersonation stinks. Media rigging election!"

See, I just can't compete with that. I'm sorry, everybody.

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

University of Dayton

1115

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

Keep Reading...Show less

library

Student Life

26 Things to Thank Our Roommates For

Who knows where we would be without them.

Michigan State University

770

StableDiffusion

Where do we begin when we start talking about our roommates? You practically spend every moment with them, they become your second family and they deal with you at your best and at your absolute worst. They are there to make you laugh just a little harder, cry a little less and make each day a little better. We often forget to thank them for the little things that they do to make college even a tiny bit easier and more fun. This list of 26 things are what you should thank your roommates for right this minute and every day that you live with them.

Keep Reading...Show less

roommates

Entertainment

Disney magic for New Year!

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Butler University

6858

Disney magic kingdom castle on new years

StableDiffusion

Disney movies are well known and very popular in today's world. Although many people appreciate the plot and the storyline, not many people appreciate the wisdom these characters possess. Every Disney movie has unique advice that can be applied to everyday life. Here are 11 Disney quotes to help start your New Year off right:

Keep Reading...Show less

disney movies

Recommended for you

Nation's Satire Writers Having A Hard Time Making Things Up About Trump

"He's always one step ahead of us."

Subscribe to our Newsletter

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

Today's special moments are tomorrow's memories. — Genie

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

Money

Socks

Blankets

Gift Cards

Hoodies and Sweatpants

Pajamas

Candles

A Fish

CDs

Movie Tickets

Candy

Gag Gifts

Dollar Shave Club

A Stocking of Toys

Subscribe to our
Newsletter

Hairbands, Clips, and Bobby-pins