I have good days and I have bad days. This week was no exception. I've cried almost every day with no explanation. My body aches as if it were broken.
Work has been the main source of my stress. It has caused an unnecessary strain financially. That's retail for you; constant instability and no reassurance of security. It has left me with second guesses, and with no idea what else I can do but to look for another job but even that is stressful. Not only is it hard to look for a well-paying job but one that includes benefits.
On top of all of this, it's been quietfrom my friends; my social life has been nonexistent. I don't go out and meet people like I used too. Every weekend I had always a good crazy story to tell but now has the year has started everything's changed and I miss it. I guess I'm the only one out of my friends looking for an adventure instead of just settling.
I'm trying to keep my emotions and my life in check, but I'm also trying to keep up with our social issues. Though I feel as if I should make my mental health as a priority for the time being. I'm already dealing with so much, that trying to keep up with current news which takes up so much room in my mind that I feel as if it would just explode. If I can just describes everything I'm dealing with and just get it off my chest. I can look happy from time to time on the surface but it's just hard to mirror that on the inside.
I am only 23 years old and I think I might just be going through a mid life crisis. I ate pizza for a whole entire week. It wasn't as if I were craving it, it was a need for it which was weird. I can barely hold a verbal conversation without stumbling on my own words and adding some weird sound effects. I recently missed throwing something in a trash can that was 4 ft next to me. I hope that this week will go a lot better for me. I hope the fog clears up, that I can get back to my writing and just have the heart to put a voice in my stories. For right now, I'm just empty