The first time I watched Nacho Libre, I was sure I had just wasted two hours of my life watching the stupidest movie ever made. My cousins and I watched it together and afterwards, we weren't really sure what to think as the guy who recommended it was roaring with laughter at every line throughout the whole movie.
A few months later, my cousins had confessed that they watched it again and found it so funny this time. So I rewatched it, again, and again. It has become my favorite movie and by far the most quotable film I've ever seen. We watched it at every family gathering for about two years and we continue to quote it to each other over text and in person every time we talk.
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I had to write this article out of respect for Jack Black and the producers as I feel many have seen this movie, but haven't quite been able to appreciate the masterpiece that is Nacho Libre. If you have been exposed to Nacho, but you haven't joined the craze yet, here is your guide on how to "Nacho Libre". Say these lines with the best Nacho accent you can muster and you're well on your way to joining the fandom.
(the numbers are links to each scene)
1.
This is useful when people offer you food you don't want to eat. Simply replace corn with any item, and voila! Stress the word "get" and slap the food out of their hands for bonus points.
2. These are my recreation clothes.
This line is usable in many different situations:
"Wow! I love your outfit!"...
"Uhm, what are you wearing?"...
"Sarah, leggings are not pants!"...
"These are my recreation clothes."
3.
Okay, I'm sure you don't actually hate orphans so simply substitute it with a chore you don't want to do or a food you really dislike.
"I don't want to bother you hun, but can you please sweep the floor?"...
"I hate all the floors in the whole world."
4. Can't you see this woman is a nun?
This is especially useful when you're out with a female and some guy does a double take.
*guy across the aisle checks out your sister**...
"Can't you see this woman is a nun?!!"
5.
This gem is useful when you've absolutely had it with the minuscule task you've been assigned.
"When you're done painting that dog's toenails, could you cut the grass with these scissors?"
" Dog duty. Grass duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty."
6. Go now! So that Sister and I may talk of holy things.
When you're at the bar and you see that one gorgeous girl from across the room, but there is that dude who won't leave her alone, whip this one out and problem solved.
"...and then we caught three fish so we went inside and grilled 'em up and it was great. You should totally come next time because I'm sure you'd love it (blah blah blah)."
**You step in and save the day**
"Go now! So that Sister and I may talk of holy things."
Bonus points if you're at a convent.
7.
Just a gentle reminder for when your husband is mad at the neighbor for leaving his dog's droppings on your lawn.
8.
This line is perfect when you're at camp and you don't personally know the cook. Is it oatmeal? Soup? Spaghetti? We aren't really sure...
**DO NOT USE IF YOUR MOM COOKED**
9.
Just be careful with this one. Typically used just before Easter.
10. Good toast.
Fairly self-explanatory, but only use this one when your toast is extra dry and super hard to chew or swallow.
11.
My father is a pastor and using this line has become a daily occurrence in our household. Use this in any situation that involves churchy opportunities, or lack thereof.
"Hey want to go to the party at Ryan's on Saturday night?"
"I'm a little concerned about your salvation and stuff."
12.
I'm not entirely sure on the who, what, where, when, and especially why, but this line is a must-know.
13.
This line is great as-is or if you replace "gospel" with any topic of debate.
14.
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If you're an athlete, this line is perfect right before a big game. Just whisper it in your teammate's ear before you take to the pitch/field/court/plate.
15.
When your friend looks at your latest tinder match...
When your evangelistic friends invite you to churchy opportunities.
16.
Useful when anything bad happens.
17.
When your crush is telling you his/her hobbies and you're like....
18.
When you're tired of making small talk with the guy you met at the bar, or the girl who sits beside you in Econ, just use this right before you ask them a personal question.
