As an introvert, I would like to address five of the most common myths about introversion, because sometimes it needs to be brought up again that yes, we do, in fact, like people. And have social skills. And know how to have fun. Ahem.
So, without further ado...
Myth #1: Introverts are antisocial.
There are many people who use the words "introverted" and "antisocial" interchangeably, when in reality, they mean completely different things. An introvert is someone who genuinely enjoys spending time with their friends and loved ones, but also needs their alone time so that they can relax and recharge their social energy for the next event. (A good way to remember the difference between extroversion and introversion is that extroverts get their energy from other people, while introverts get their energy from their alone time.) An antisocial person is someone who doesn't enjoy social interaction and prefers their own company all the time. Note the difference: introverts can actually be very sociable, it's just that they also enjoy the chance time spent alone gives them to relax and process the day's events. I know that we tend to joke around and say "I hate people" or something along those lines quite often, but we don't actually mean it. (Usually.) We love adventures, and we love our people, and we love adventures with our people. Just, maybe give us a bit of warning to prepare us. And don't be surprised when we suddenly disappear afterwards. Thank you!
Myth #2: Introverts are shy.
Although shyness can be seen in some introverts, shy and introverted are not the same thing. Introverts can be very confident people, unafraid of meeting new friends, trying new things, and letting their voices be heard. We may be rather reserved at first -- opening up to you takes time for us, and even then, there are some things about us that only a select few people will ever know -- but this isn't due to shyness. We don't usually interact with people for the sake of interaction; we like to have a reason for talking with you, and so sometimes we get lost in our own heads and forget that we can actually approach you first. Please approach us; we would love to talk to you!
Myth #3: Introverts don't like to talk.
It is a truth universally acknowledged -- among introverts- - that small talk is the actual worst. It's one especially draining form of social interaction, because it's not deepenough for our liking. We prefer spending an hour with one or two close friends in deep conversation over mingling at a party for an hour and never going further than "Where are you from?" and "What is your major?" If you really want to get us talking then ask us what we're passionate about. We'll gladly ramble for hours. Ask us what we think on a certain issue, ask us about our favorite quotes, ask us about the things we miss the most from childhood, ask our opinions on star formations and sunsets -- literally anything. Get creative. We love conversations of the interesting sort.
Myth #4: Introverts don't like to have fun.
I personally think it's rather silly to believe that everyone has the same definition of fun. Some people think watching sports on TV is fun; I would prefer watching paint dry as a more enjoyable alternative. I'm not wrong, and neither are the sports fans. We simply have differing definitions of what is fun. In the same way, extroverts and introverts can have different definitions of fun. A day filled with huge gatherings of people and spontaneous new adventures will make an extrovert's heart happy, while an introvert can be just as happy curled up for hours with a book or hanging out with a few friends or family-- and you know what? This is okay. (PSA: We're actually often eager to go on adventures, given time to prepare for them. Being introverted doesn't mean we're not adventurous souls.)
Myth #5: Introverts need to change and be more extroverted.
Asking someone to change their temperament is completely unfair; introverts cannot and do not need to change the way that we get our energy. Extroverts and introverts need each other; extroverts need introverts to calm them down and be a voice of reason, and introverts need extroverts to draw them out of their shells. Both are of equal importance, and as such both should be respected. Introverts do not need "fixing"; what they really need is to be understood. Isn't that what we all long for, no matter our temperament?
Now that you hopefully understand the introverts in your life a bit better, feel free to go give them hugs and start up insightful conversations with them. Actually, don't surprise them with hugs; many introverts kind of have a thing about personal space. But you can let them know you love them, perhaps even better now that you know a bit more about how their brain works.
As introverts, we love our people fiercely, and it means the world to us when our people love and understand us too.
