Every day has gotten worse and worse since Biz and I broke up. My life was falling apart at the seams, but her life seemed to be getting better and better with Eric. That's karma I guess. I took her for granted, didn't treat her the way I should've, I lied, I cheated, it was only a matter of time before it came back to bite me in the ass.
I lost the love of my life. I quit my job. I don't eat. I hardly sleep. I don't ever leave my room. All I do all day is think about all my mistakes, all the what-ifs in my life, and just wallow in self-pity. All my thoughts go a million miles an hour, bringing nothing but chaos and turmoil to my mind. The only thing I look forward to every day is going to sleep at night when all thoughts go away, and I'm at peace, even just for a moment.
When I went to sleep, I expected like any other person to wake up in my own bed, but to my surprise, I didn’t. I woke up and I couldn’t see anything, all I could feel was the cold tile floor beneath my body. When I screamed for help I could hear nothing but an echo, so I could tell the room was quite large. I stumbled around a few feet feeling for something near me, but there was nothing there. I was so scared and my first thought was that I had died in my sleep and this was Hell.
I never quite believed in the traditional idea of Hell. I never believed in the inferno and the demons. I believed Hell was a place where you are placed to live your worst nightmares. This is what I believed, this was my nightmare--soul-crushing nothingness left alone with nothing but my thoughts for eternity. I sat down crying and thinking to myself, "what did I do to deserve to go to Hell?"
I didn’t think I deserved this. Yes, I’ve done bad things in my life but nothing to deserve this, but maybe that’s my first sin. Convincing myself I wasn’t guilty of anything, when in fact, I damn well was. I hurt someone. Someone who above all never deserved to be hurt. Someone who had one of the biggest hearts I had ever known. Someone who was guilty of nothing more than loving too much. Then, I spoke aloud, “Biz, I am so sorry.”
At that moment, I was blinded. When I finally regained vision I realized, the lights had come on. I had been sitting in the dark for so long the lights had blinded me. They weren’t bright, though, only bright enough for me to able to see the whole room. This room was huge. Easily the length of a football field and just as wide. Far across the room, I could see shapes. I started sprinting over but as I got closer I still couldn’t tell what they were. It wasn’t till I came right up on them that I realized they were people. There were six of them, all sitting in chairs, with black sheets draped over them. I yelled at them, but no response, either they were dead or unconscious. I hoped the latter. I started pulling sheets away and my heart sunk, one by one, Preston, Lauren, Brodi, Cece, all my best friends and then my heart stopped, Biz. I hadn't seen her in months not since we had broken up. As I walked over to the last person everything slowed down. Who was this last person? Who could they possibly be? As I pulled the sheet away, my heart sunk again, Eric. I looked at him and all I could think was that this truly was Hell, but I had been wrong about what it had in store for me.
After I had pulled the last sheet away I realized I needed to check if they were alive, I ran up to Biz and checked her pulse, alive. Then, I checked the other girls, alive. After I checked Preston I didn’t bother to check Eric, if everyone else was alive then he had to be as well. I took a few steps back and just looked at all of them. “What does this mean?”
“It’s a choice," I jumped. I looked around but I couldn’t tell where the voice had come from. I didn’t see a person but the walls were bare, there weren’t any speakers. The voice seemed to come from nowhere. The voiced sounded eerily like Jigsaw from the Saw movies.
“What do you mean a choice?” I said.
There was no answer but I suddenly I felt something in my hand. I looked down and it was an unloaded revolver, .38 special.
“What am I supposed to do with this?”
“It’s a choice.”
“What does that mean?!” I shouted.
There was a silence and suddenly the voice said, “Simple, you will shoot someone to gain your freedom”
“What about the rest?”
“They will be free as well.”
I just looked down at the gun and back at them and said,
“I will not kill one of my friends,” I yelled as I threw the gun away, hearing the clatter on the floor.
Next thing I know, to my disbelief, I looked down to see the gun back in my hand.
“You will, or else you all will die.”
I looked back down at the gun, I was just turning it over in my hands and I remembered there are no bullets.
“How do I shoot someone without any bullets? This was a test, wasn’t it? You wanted me to pull the trigger on someone to see if I would, but you were never going to let anyone die,” I said with relief and confidence.
“I was right, wasn’t I?” no response. Then suddenly, “It’s a choice,” he said again. At that moment, I felt something pressing against my thigh. I reached down slowly into my pocket and pulled it out, it was a bullet. I looked at the bullet in my hand and I just looked at all of them. I looked at Eric and said, “This isn’t a choice. You know I would never hurt any of the girls.” but as I look at Eric, as much as I hate him for dating Biz, I knew I couldn’t kill him either.
Suddenly everyone woke up in a panic, looking around in a daze, struggling to get up, but unable to get free of their restraints. As they tired out and their eyes adjusted, all they saw was me standing in front of them with a gun, while they were tied down to a chair. They start to freak out again, but I calm them down and start explaining. As I explain everyone is dead silent, they all look down in disbelief and some start to cry. After I finish explaining there’s a long silence. Suddenly Cece looks up at me and asks, “Well what are you going to do?”
I look at Biz, who hasn’t said a word, looking away in anger and I say, “I don’t know.”
“Well you have to do something or we’re all going to die, said Preston.
“I know what he’s going to do. We all know who he’s going to shoot, is it even a question?” says Eric.
Another long silence. I just sat there looking at everyone. None of them looked at each other, they just stared at the ground. I look at the gun and turn its cold steel over and over in my hands for a while. Then, I realize what I have to do. I stand up and say “Eric is right.” Preston, Brodi, and Lauren start crying, Cece just looks at the ground in shock, Eric has his head up, eyes closed, and what looks like praying. I look at Biz, she’s still looking away angrily, not saying a word. I walk over to her, squat down, look at her, and say “I am so sorry, but whoever did this, he didn’t give me a choice.” I kiss her forehead and say, “I love you.” As I get up and walk towards Eric I look at her again, her face hasn’t changed, but tears are rushing down her face.
I step back to look at Eric and say, “Everyone look away. I don’t want you to see this.” Everyone shuts their eyes tight and moves their head away. “Look at me, Eric.”
He opens his eyes and looks at me. He doesn’t say a word. I see all the fear in his eyes but he’s not crying, no. He’s much too strong for his last moments to be in tears. I load the bullet, cock the hammer back, I look at him and say, “Love her like she deserves.” I swing the gun to my head and pull the trigger.
I jolt awake.
