I’ve said this in the past I love music, television and film. My favorite pastime is to watch shows until I’m too tired. I would be watching some educational show one minute, switch to a cartel documentary the next minute then watch ratchet TV like Love and Hip-Hop. Out of all the cop shows dramas, and sitcoms the reality show “The Real World” will always have a special place in my heart. Yes, the show where they pick seven strangers to live in a house to have their lives taped. I use to watch this show every season until it got wack. The Real World had a formula to make things more interesting. You can’t just put seven of the same type of people in a house and expect sparks to fly. However, if you put a troubled black person in a house with the “all American” white kid that grew up in a town where the only person of color they saw was on TV. Then to spice things up why not add the colorful gay person and the extra sensitive “Alpha male” with either a drug or alcohol problem. This combination will make a better show to watch. Lately the show has gotten boring so they started coming up with different themes for the show. This current season is titled “Bad Blood” in this season the cast is visited by someone who they have had a problem with in the past. On a previous episode, the one guy that tends to not get along with everyone wanted to do a make shift talk show. Mike just so happens to be a white male that wanted to get the other roommates to sign a fake contract to be on a show and during the conversation he drops the “N-Word”. This struct a nerve with the other roommates and one of the black males Kassius in the house states that because they were cool with each other he gives him a “pass.” After this situation, the roommates went to a club and on the way, there Mike is talking to his crush Jordan who is mixed and he makes a racial comment about black folks putting coconut oil on each other so they wouldn’t be ashy. He meant it as a joke but before this part in the show Mike express that he was in jail and had to join the Arian Brotherhood to stay safe. So now the roommates and views wonder if he is joking or is he expressing his true feelings?

This prompted me to ask the question regarding this “pass” that we as African Americans give our white friends because we feel that we know them well enough to let them in. Let’s start with the use of the “N-Word” since it is the most popular offence. This is a derogatory word that were given to African Americans. It represents everything you could possibly hate. Then later there was a turn where we took the word and made it a community term of endearment amongst each other. This is not uncommon this is also how the world got soul food, started from scraps and the unwanted parts of the animal. Now in 2016 chitterlings a.k.a chitlins are a black folk holiday “must have”. I still don’t get that but back to the word. As the years went by in television and music especially Hip-Hop you couldn’t hear a complete sentence without the N-word being said. Now we have suburban white kids reciting lyrics and carelessly slinging the word around thinking that its cool cause Kanye said it. However, there was that one time where he got mad and said it in the context it was meant for. There’s also that one white kid who grew up around black folks all their life and that’s just the norm for them. This kid said it as his black neighbors and friends did. Just like we have roughly two different types of white kids who said it, there are two types of black folks who accepts it. With this we have black folk that get offended and we have black folk that will give the pass.

I am from a predominantly black neighborhood but went to school in a once predominately white district but by the time I graduated it became one of the most diverse. With that I had a lot of white friends and as I think back I don’t remember too many times where I have had to check them on race. One reason is that we were all super young and as we grew up and I became “woke”, I was more vocal about everything. Those who were truly my friends never disrespected me in that manor. Were they cool with other black folks? Yes and did they receive a pass, yes. Do they use it now? No because they grew to understand that there is a deeper meaning that has nothing to do with street cred or being cool. I mean let’s take a step back and look at it. Why on earth would you let your white friend point at you and say something like “that’s my nigga”. That sounds and look supper ignorant for the basic fact that 400 years ago you probably were their nigger. If this white person is truly your friend you would educate them. You would also show them how to value your people by setting the example and valuing your people in front of them. It’s kinda hard to tell someone to stop calling you the N-word when you call your brother by that name so freely. If this white person is your friend that pass you give them is nothing more than a ticket for beating by the wrong person. So why put them through that? Just scrap it all together. There are still black folks out here that still want to be “niggas” and that is a whole different situation that needs to be fixed. Your black son is an African American male in training. He will grow up trying to stay alive in a system that was never built to protect him. The minute you call this little dude your “little nigga” you are setting him up for failure. I know we were trying to take the power away by claiming it back but we tried that and it’s not working.

We even give celebrities this pass that gives them the right to pretty much use our culture for their gain but allow them to stay silent on our issues. One of the biggest examples of this is Justin Timberlake. Very talented guy that went from the boyband and started hanging out with black folk and went solo to become the superstar he is today. This is not uncommon it’s been happening for years if black folks wanted to make it big they had to put a white face on it. Remember when they wouldn’t put the Five Heartbeats faces on their album cover? As far as Justin is concerned remember the super bowl? It was an accident, so why not just say so why let Janet take all that heat right? Well time went by and all has since been forgotten, until Jesse Williams did his magical black folk speech and Justin got mopped on twitter for a comment he made. I personally don’t have a problem with Justin but when I hear folks talk about how great he is and they are referencing the things that were inspired by black folks I just give a side eye. Let’s be clear, without Chuck Berry, Marvin Gaye, Michael Jackson (the black, light skinned, and white one) and Babyface. There would be no Elvis, Robin Thicke, Justin Timberlake, and Jon B.

I am not opposed to sharing different aspects of each other’s culture but when it’s wrong for me and fashion for “you” then that’s a problem. When a black person cannot wear their locs in the office but it’s a fun look for someone else that’s a problem. Its frowned on for black women to wear a weave because they say we are ashamed of our natural hair, yet we are not allowed to let our natural flow. Make up your mind, what do you want from us? Doesn’t matter the restriction we will find a way to be fly. We were not raised to look a hot mess.

We need to start having these conversations otherwise we will just march for everything and I’m sorry I don’t own a lot of sneakers that are made for protesting. That’s why I accept my role behind this laptop. Say what you want but I am a sneaker head and will bug out if my cement 4 Air Jordans get scuffed. See what I did there with the reference? I am also sick of being the voice of black folk when I’m around white folks. We are a very creative race and I couldn’t possibly speak up for all of us we are just that different form one another. Sometimes I keep the stereotype going. I’m sorry 9 out of 10 times I am out at a restaurant I will order chicken and I love watermelon. On the flip side, there are some things that I don’t do that you may thing normal black folks do. I read books I’m intelligent but I can’t be the middle black person anymore because we are so dope one person will not do us justice. We should be proud of the skin we are in and can speak up when offended if whoever of a different race feel some type of way then maybe they are not your friend and you might be their muse. Sorry to be the one to tell you. Don’t be the “token black person” just be another person in your group of friends. There are no passes for disrespect. Now don’t go beating up your white friends for something you let go on up until now. A simple conversation should be good enough. It will take a while but over time if we make the small changes we will see the difference later. Listen you been patient over the years with your edges surely you can try with making our world a better place to live in. Seriously I have seen my people show extreme patients strength and creativity on the dumbest things. That’s how I know we are capable of more. Wake up folks, burn those passes.