So many girls struggle with how they feel about themselves. I remember as a child I told my mom I hated my freckles and she told me that people are not allowed to hate anything about themselves. That was it for me. I thought, "Okay" and moved on with my life.
In elementary school, the girls began to pick on me for being too thin and some would tell me they wished they were my size. I still was at the point where I loved several things about myself because I had more people how great I am than tell me how I'm not good enough. Fast forward to teenage years and hellish middle school. My wall of self worth that was once so high started to come down bit by bit.
I was never funny enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. I didn't have boys wanting to date me or friends who wanted me around. I began to feel down about myself and I stopped feeling good enough because I was slowly starting to hear more bad things about myself than good. I was ready for high school to be different but it wasn't.
I still wasn't funny enough, smart enough or pretty enough. The boys still didn't want to date me and my friends never treated me right. What once was such a high wall of self worth was now just one layer of bricks. I felt so low and just wanted people to like me for who I was… or who I was when I had my self worth.
I didn't feel good about myself anymore because my self worth felt like it was taken from me. When I got to my freshman year of college, I had my chance for a new start my wall grew a little higher and got knocked down a few times more and felt like a rag that people would use once then throw away but then I found people who love me for me. I found people who think I'm funny enough, smart enough, and pretty enough.
I don't care if boys want to date me because I have friends who are always there for me. I have my best friend who lets me vent and talk to about anything while acting like the fool I am and I have my other best friend who talks me out of fighting people and who I can talk to for hours about anything.
And I have my big who always is there for me when I need her and who supports me through it all. My little layer l of self worth has grown into a wall, it's not a castle wall like it once was but its big enough and strong enough to not let the little things hurt me because I know I am funny enough, smart enough, and pretty enough.
I still sometimes feel like the rag that people will use once and then throw away but If people can't see how great I am then they don't deserve me. I am beautiful and I am a boss as bitch who will not take crap from anyone anymore. You have to earn me because that's what I deserve. You can't let anyone take your self worth because you are great how you are. As Ablieen Clark from The Help says “You is kind, You is smart, You are important”.
