This morning (June 5th), I went to a yard sell with my cousin, Jen. This yard sale was at a church that Jen worked close to. We arrived at the church and saw the yard sale, plus a car wash.
We wandered around and then we came to a table and there was a guy wearing a “Navy” shirt. I went up to him, shook his hand, and thanked him for his service. We spoke briefly for a few minutes about the military (I’m a Navy child), and then he pulled out one of those “annoying God booklets” (that’s what a lot of people call them). He continued on about our sins and how we had to answer to God when we died. This triggered me to start thinking about my dark past and that shot me down. I started to tune him out and when I went to leave, the other guy at the table gave me a brochure about being born again. He rambled on for a while about Monarch butterflies and Mexico. I didn’t really want to hear any of it; I believe in God and that was good enough.
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Well, it’s not.
I was drawn to the bible at the end of the table and I asked if I could have it. They exclaimed, “Yeah, yeah. Of course!” So I took it.
Tonight, I chilled a bit and then started getting emotional. I started thinking about what a guy did to me almost 2 months ago. My uncle said something to me that made me feel worse so I went to my room. I tidied up my room a bit and while I was doing that, I picked up my purse to clean it out. I saw all the booklets I had been given and went to put it in my bag of random stuff.
I heard a voice in my head tell me to read the booklets. I picked two. One answered those who have questioned God and the bible and one talked about being born again. I started reading the first one and lost focus, so I picked up the “born again” booklet.
Halfway through it, I began to feel guilty about my past again. I know God sent Jesus down to die on the cross to wash away our sins so we can have our father’s forgiveness. However, I just didn’t think that I could really go to heaven because I have really screwed up in the past and I haven’t found a way to forgive myself and see that, even though my past goes against the bible, I should forgive myself because God has already done so.
Because I felt guilty, I threw the booklets aside.
And then, for some reason, Ephesians popped into my mind and so did the numbers 4, 24.
I saw the bible I had picked up today, and I thought to myself, “One last time, God. Send me a sign,” and flipped to Ephesians 4:24.
Ephesians 4:24 reads, “and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:20-24 reads, “You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in accordance with truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
I broke down into tears. I had never read Ephesians before. Yes, those verses were basically saying the same thing the booklets were saying, but the fact I've never read Ephesians before and the verses talk about letting go and being new again made me break down. Those verses are my wake up call. I'm still shocked and I'm in awe.
God actually spoke to me.
