You know what day is coming up, its Valentine's day baby! The hottest, steamiest day of the year, buy your chocolate and slip into that black lingerie you've been trying to fit into for the past 3 weeks because guess what we're about to do.. talk CAUCuces!
Valentine's day is just a few days after another very romantic day, February 3rd. Don't know what day that is? Why its the day of the Iowa caucuses, duh!
After the (very confusing) results were released a few days ago and in just a few more February 14th is upon us. I ask the question, who are you swiping right for? (disclosure: I am sure none of the candidates are openly looking for dates, in fact, all of them have partners but not like they're gonna see this anyways).
If you are sitting here asking yourself what the f*ck is a caucus, don't worry I got your back. The Iowa caucuses are basically all about electability. This caucus is like a mini presidential election, Obama proved he was electable in 2008 through these caucuses as did Carter. How they work is Iowans gather at 1,600 locations and a representative for each candidate delivers a speech to the people present. Then the people's votes are cast by gathering in groups dedicated to each candidate. It's not a totally accurate predictor of the final presidential candidates but the results are not admissible either.
Now let's get to our dates!!
Pete Buttigieg
The first date I have for you is the democratic winner of the Iowa caucuses, we have the small yet mighty Pete Buttigieg pulling in with 26.8% of the votes. The Mayor is young and handsome but if you're not a gay man you're kind of out of the running for this one.. :/
Bernie Sanders
In second, we have the yeller of the crowd, Bernie Sanders. A close runner up falling only 1.6% behind Buttigieg with 25.2% of the vote. This isn't Bernies first go around, he's experienced, determined, dedicated and loud (He's from Brooklyn what else do we expect?)!
Elizabeth Warren
Taking third we have Elizabeth Warren. Line up fellas, she's picky! She's the soccer mom we all wish we had as the assistant coach, you know she would have some great plays planned.
Joe Biden
And in 4th we have the ever so touchy Biden with 15.% of the vote. He's the snuggler of the group but don't let that fool ya! Biden may have the upper hand when convincing you to swipe right because of his past relationship.. #Bamaforlyfe
Amy Klobuchar
Rounding up the democratic troops in the (because who cares about 6th and down right?) is Amy Klobuchar. Amy is a lawyer and senator, smart and classy! 2 Women in one presidential race? What is this 2020 or something? She's bagged 12.6% of the vote.
Now let us move on the republican results DUN DUN DUN.
Trump takes first and basically only with 97.1%. He seems to be the ultimate bachelor for the republican party, is it his looks? Or the smarts? He has it all!
There are other Republican candidates running against the current president but form the results of the caucuses it's clear they do not possess the electability that Trump already has under his tight belt.
So who will you pick to be your valentine?
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