In a conversation the other day, I heard someone say that they wanted someone to look a specific way, and to act the way they want them to. So many girls I know have said that they want a guy to agree with everything they say. Blah blah blah.

I have come a long way - not just mentally, emotionally, and physically, but also in the way that I see things. I know now that relationships don’t work that way, that you both have to compromise and that neither of you can push each other around.

But there was a time when I thought it would work like that. There was a time when I thought I would be ‘in charge’ of the relationship. And I can remember distinctly that I thought there was a ‘perfect’ guy, one that was tall, and had the same kind of ideas as myself. (Secretly, I always wanted to date Harry Potter or Ponyboy Curtis.) Anyways, I thought that there would be a perfect guy, and I always thought I would find that perfect guy.

Truth is: I didn’t find Harry Potter in the general population. Sure, there’s seven billion people on this planet, but I never found anyone like that. (But if you do, hit me up.) There are plenty of guys with green eyes and dark hair - though none have a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt. Nor can any of those guys speak to snakes or destroy hocruxes. What can I say? Men aren’t what they used to be. I’m just joking; there are plenty of men that are brave, resilient, and strong. But I didn’t find all of these characteristics within the same man.

Instead, I fell for a man who wasn’t my ‘type.’ But I found out, through time, that he is my type. He is absolutely my type.

I wish I could have gone back and decided to look at every man differently. Maybe he was shorter than me, but maybe he had a pure heart of gold. Maybe he had blonde hair, but maybe he was passionate. What does it matter? All of these things I might have overlooked because I never thought I would have been interested in them. All of these things I overlooked simply because their physical characteristics were not what I was looking for.

I have met someone who makes me forget about physical characteristics; who has made me forget that these things even mattered to me at one point. Of course, there are many many times where I look at those features - the gentle curl of his eyelashes, the bright eyes that follow me, the strong jaw, the hairs at the nape of his neck and the freckles that lay there, and am completely blown away.

My type sometimes disagrees with me. My type doesn’t buy me roses all the time. He doesn’t always open the door for me. But he does try. He’ll try to impress my parents and grandparents. He’ll wrap his arms around me anytime, anywhere. He makes me laugh every day, and I’ve come to realize that’s all I could have asked for. At first I thought I wanted someone who would completely sweep me off my feet, but I’ve realized that I should’ve asked, should’ve wished for someone to make me laugh, for someone to love me as much as he does.

I never thought my type would be my type, but I am so glad he is.