For the majority of my life, I've been told about how being quiet or reserved can hold me back. I've been told that it would.negatively affect my participation grades in classes. It can make me an afterthought for some people. In certain cases, it can be the reason you miss out some opportunities. These things all have some truth to them, but people often forget the benefits to being quiet and reserved. You are often left out of drama between friends. You're often looked at as the nice guy in many social circles and best of all, you overhear a lot of things. This is often a bi-product of being so quiet that people forget you're in the room and begin speaking freely. After four years of boarding school and about two years of college, I know much more about other people's friendships and relationships than I probably should. However, every once in a while you will hear people talking about you or things related to your life because they forget you are in the room.

Over the years, I've heard people talk about the naps in my head, my hairline, my breath, etc. Being that I'm a pretty self-aware and realize that I'm not perfect, I can often times laugh at myself. I usually just play it off as I'm not there as long as someone doesn't talk about my family or say anything racist, sexist, etc. However, during my freshman year, I was put into an awkward position.

I was sitting at a desk doing homework while listening to music, when a group of people walked into the lounge. Some took to the couches to watch TV, while two others took the sink to start cooking or wash dishes. I couldn't really tell or care for that matter. Soon after they entered and took to the sink, a conversation broke out between the two about Jack and Jill of America. From what I could gather the conversation wasn’t all that positive. Words like bourgeois and stuck up were used and I got up and went back to my room. I was upset but more annoyed than anything.

For those who are not aware, Jack and Jill of America Incorporated is an organization that was founded during the Great Depression with the intention of bringing together Black American families for socially and culturally enriching activities. In simpler words, it's an organization for Black families to come together. My family joined the organization when I was about ten years old and I stayed in Jack and Jill until I graduated in 2014. The organization definitely had its flaws when I was an active member and I didn't love everything about it, but I definitely gave me a lot of great memories and introduced to people that I know call friends. I think it's safe to say that for better or worse that I wouldn't be the person I am today without this community. People say a lot of things about it, such as Jack and Jill families are bourgeois. Jack and Jill kids come from rich families. Jack and Jill is full of drama. Jack and Jill is this and that. I am writing this article as a way to shed light on my experience as a Jack and Jill teen and now alumni. With that being said, my views are those of mine alone. I am writing from my experience and my experience alone. I do not speak of the organization or any other teen, alumni or family.

Jack and Jill Families are All Rich.

Fiction: All Jack and Jill families are not rich. I come from a middle-class family in New Jersey. We aren't poor, but we are far from being rich either. I grew up in a single parent, single income home for the majority of my life. My Mom made sure we had more financially than she did when she was growing up. However, I'm going to be in loads of college debt after I graduate from college. I work during the summer to help pay my tuition. I was on financial aid during high school. I don’t get to go to Florida or Puerto Rico for spring break. I don’t spend my summers at Martha’s Vineyard. To put it simply, I know plenty of families who were never in Jack and Jill that Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill is Exclusive and for the Black Elite.

Fiction: Yes, Jack and Jill has had members like sportscaster, Stuart Scott, BET Music Director, Ray Chew and others. With that being said, I'm not elite. The majority of my friends In Jack and Jill would not be considered elite. Actually, the only time I got to interact with anyone elite is when I got to interact with anyone that society would consider elite or well known is when Start Scott’s daughter and I were both in a talent showcase my sophomore year of high school. As for the exclusivity claim, yes, there is an application process. Yes, it's hard to get in, but you know what else has an application process and hard to get? A job. College. Scholarships. A loan.Life, basically. It's no different than many other things we consider in life to be difficult, but not exclusive.

Jack and Jill is Full of Drama.

Fact: Yes, Jack and Jill is full of drama, but you know what else is full of drama? Middle school. High school. Whenever you put a large number of kids and teenagers in a group, there's bound to be some drama. That's just a fact, but I don't see people wanting to get rid of other organizations that bring together kids and teens. There was drama, but I had definitely more good memories than bad memories, while in Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill is Full of "Stuck Up" Families.

Fiction: This is the stereotype that bothers me the most. I am a lot of things. I can be annoying. I can be frustrating to deal with. I am not perfect, but one thing I am not is stuck up. The majority of people I dealt with as a teen in Jack and Jill were not stuck up. I don't know where this stereotype comes from, but it's just not true.