Sorry for being human. Sorry for making mistakes. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for being toxic. I am not sorry for leaving from toxicity. I am not sorry for choosing myself, I am not sorry for my mistakes. They happened but guess what- they are stuck in the past. Let me live my life; let me make errors and learn from there.
You want to give me advice. I will listen, but the final decision is mine. In the span of a year, I have grown for the better. Do I regret the mistakes I made before? No. Why? Because they are what made me who I am right now. I acknowledge them and learn from them. If it hurt someone, I am sorry we could not see each other eye to eye. I am not apologizing for choosing myself over you. Yes, you guys might have guessed it, I have cut ties with several people. People were either toxic to me or vice-versa.
The reason I did that was that I noticed my mental wellness worsening increasingly fast, my spiritual and physical wellness was starting to get a hit. I felt that I was drowning in the sea of negativity and I wanted out. My friends noticed my change. I went from someone that puts her foot down and takes nothing from nobody to someone that was letting others control her, lashing out due to unhappiness.
During the last week of July last year, I made the decision to stop allowing negativity in my life and focused on my happiness. I sought help for my mental wellness. I made new friends that fit my personality. I started to find myself again. I started to feel happy again. Some of the people I cut out of my life reached out to me apologizing and regretting their behavior towards me. I did not let them back in because of how bad they were to me. I apologize to the people I was mean to. Do I want a friendship back with some of them? Yes and no. I do because there were fun moments and pleasant conversations. However, I know the moment I feel history repeating itself, I will walk away, potentially angering the other person. I can say with confidence that I will not let others put me down again. I have come so far. I have the support of my friends and partner.
If I could start fresh so can you. There is nothing wrong seeking help for your mental wellness, there is nothing wrong saying goodbye to people that dampen your day. Yes they might get angry, they might call you names but true friends will boost you up. Seek your happiness, enjoy life. You won't regret the changes in the long the run. Do not forget to take care of you.
