Recently, I lost my grandfather, Fletcher Fields, and since that day, my world feels a little less meaningful. This is the first loss of someone close to me and the first loss of a hero in my life – it’s a double whammy. My grandpa was one of the best men I have ever known and probably will ever know. He was known to many as Coach, Mr. Fields, Daddy Fletch, and so many more. He has impacted people’s lives by playing alongside them in sports, coaching them to championships, teaching them how to drive, hunting/fishing with them, or just being a friend. I know that for me, that’s what he was in addition to being my grandpa: he was my coach, teacher, and friend. Throughout my life, he has taught me many lessons – big and small. Since writing helps me process things, I’ve decided to compile a list of the things Pa has taught me that I can carry me through the rest of my time without him.
For starters, ice cream fixes everything. Especially Blue Bell. Oh no, you fell off your bike? Ice cream. You made a bad grade on a test? Ice cream. A boy doesn’t like you back? Ice cream. You had a great day, nothing went wrong, and you just want to treat yourself? Ice cream. I think you get the picture. Next, a man’s chair is his chair and the “race him to it, then sit at it and try to look cute so maybe he’ll let you sit there” trick only works the first seven times, but after that it’s just annoying. The next is something I can hear him saying in the back of my mind whenever I get behind the steering wheel of a car, “10 and 2! Eyes on the road! Eyes off the road, even for one second, is one second too many!” The amount of times he told me this is innumerable, but I am thankful he did. My PaPa was very superstitious, so because of him I am, too. He would tell me to always spit out of your window if a black cat crosses your path, absolutely no open umbrellas in the house, and lastly, always, always throw salt over your shoulder if you spill it. Finally, and one of my favorite silly ones, is the value of a good booty shaking. He’d probably roll his eyes at me for telling the world of him doing this, but y’all, trust me, when that man wanted to annoy you he would have no qualms with standing in front of the Barney episode you were watching and shake that money maker until you handed him the remote.
On a deeper level, Pa taught me things that I still catch myself saying on a daily basis. First, cussing feels pretty damn good – just don’t do it in front of elders or superiors (but I just broke that rule, so I’m sorry Pa). Second, manners and respect can take you far in life, “just trust him on that one” – always make sure you are polite and respectful. Always. Thirdly, and probably most importantly, you can show Jesus’ love by spreading love and serving others. This is the one that sticks out the most in my mind when I think of Pa. I think this is why he touched so many people in his life. He led those around him to be better people by serving them and loving them, but never expecting anything in return. He was a true example of a humble, servant hearted leader. He is why I do what I do in school, in life, and hopefully in my career someday. He taught me that it doesn’t have to be grand gestures – on the contrary, it can simply be showing genuine interest in those around you, it can be taking an elderly man in the community to church every Sunday, it can even be as mundane as being an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on if needed.
Whenever I think of Pa, I think of a quote that he always said to me on the phone or when I would leave his house, it has stuck with me so much that I say it to my friends regularly and I think encapsulates who he is as a person. “Do good things.” Those three, simple little words can be used to describe how my grandpa tried to live his life. No matter what he did, he always tried to do good and be the good in the world.
Going forward, I don’t know how I will live without my grandpa at Thanksgivings to tell his old football stories as we watch the Cowboys game. I don’t know what I’ll do without his facetious comments that make any room bust up in laughter. I don’t know what I’ll do without him squeezing in his little tidbits of wisdom and guidance anytime he saw me, like it might be his last opportunity to do so. I do not know how I will do this life without my best friend. But I do know this: I am grateful for the women that he brought into my world and the love he cultivated within our little family. I am grateful for all of the pieces of him I have in me that I will carry the rest of my life. I will try to make him proud by accomplishing every goal I know he had in mind for me, all while trying to do good things. I love you, PaPa, you will always be my Top Dog.
