This evening upon entering my sorority houses’s media room I walked in on the greatest possible movie ever. Mean Girls. Enough said. While yes I can practically imagine many of you rolling your eyes while muttering shameful things like: “That’s cliche” or “It’s not even that good”. However, I would completely disagree. 2004 showed us that Orlando Bloom was the sexiest bachelor alive. Gifted us with Facebook (although my Myspace page was lit). Also in 2004 I personally Idolized Brittany Spears, oh and along with these things God gifted the world with the beauty that is Regina George. Regina George is more than a character, she is that one girl that we can identify with because as much as we may despise her you still kinda way deep down want to be her. Watching Mean girls brought me back to a nostalgic time, in which mini skirts were the shit and girls didn’t turn to social media to air their hate and instead wrote it in a book with all of their closest friends.
I cannot count the amount of times I have seen Mean Girls, but every time I watch it I find myself jumping the gun and practically yelling my favorite quotes. In order to spare my sisters of this manic amount of joy this movie brings me I have chosen to gift it to you. I meticulously worked on this list to achieve ultimate quotage accuracy and personally I feel like I have achieved! I admit I might just love mean girls too much and probably shouldn’t be promoting this girl on girl hatred (especially in real life I despise it so much). However, this movie is one that will never die and will be cherished for generations. I hope to watch it with my daughter. So in order to add to this immortal movie here are my TOP 25 BEST MEAN GIRLS QUOTES EVER!
25. Janis: “We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina’s whole dirty history.”
Damian: “Say crack again.”
Janis: “Crack.”
24. “Grool.”
23. “On October 3rd he asked me what day it is.”
“Its October 3rd." In a totally not ironic way that day was and still is declared Mean Girl’s Day and I cherish that day as the best day of the year (besides Halloween and my Birthday)
22. “Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!”
21. “This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It’s urgent. Thank you.”
If you have an enemy theres two things you could do, but I would prefer to make a face smell like foot over a prank phone call (Prank phone calls are so 2004)
20. “It said in that book that I lied about being a virgin because I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.”
19. “I was half a virgin when I met him.”
18. "I can't help it that I'm so popular."
17. “If you're from Africa, Why are you white?”
“Oh My Gosh, Karen, You don't just ask people why they're white.”
16. “One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”
15. “Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”
I mean what else would a “cool mom do” amirite?
14. “And I want my pink shirt back!”
He needs it for Wednesday! WHY DOESN’T SHE GET THAT??
13. “Damn Africa.”
12. “You smell like a baby prostitute.”
11. “Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just... don't do it. Promise?"
"Alright, everybody grab some rubbers.”
10. “You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?”
9. “Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.”
Honestly how can a quote about food not make it into the top 10?
8. “Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!”
7. “I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense…it’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can tell when it's gonna rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.”
6. “Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And none for Gretchen Weiners. Bye.”
5. “She doesn’t even go here!”
4. “Get in loser, we're going shopping.”
3. “Boo you whore!”
While I literally only breathe to repeat this quote every possible time I can at the very same time I totally agree and love the quote by Ms.Norbury: “You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.” because honestly imposing woman everyday to be who they are and not listen to the shaming of society is so important to me.
2. “On Wednesdays we wear pink!”
1. “That is so fetch!”
Someone alert Gretchen Wieners! Fetch. Is. A. Thing.
(Those Last 10 can pretty much be re-arranged into any order and still be extremely accurate)
Energetic dance performance under the spotlight.
Taylor Swift in a purple coat, captivating the crowd on stage.
Taylor Swift shines on stage in a sparkling outfit and boots.
Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers sharing a joyful duet on stage.
