Growing up left-handed has been both a blessing and a curse. On one hand (no pun intended) left-handed people are often seen as unique, because roughly 10 percent of the world’s population is left-handed. So given this, it’s relatively safe to attribute my general quirkiness to the fact that I do things with my left hand instead of my right. On the other hand, growing up left-handed has exposed me to some problems in my life. These aren’t awful problems, more like minor inconveniences, but irritating nonetheless. Here are the top ten, in no particular order.
- 1) Getting ink on my hand while writing
This is probably the most common and publicized annoyance about being left-handed. All my life whenever I would have to write in pen, ink from said pen would always smudge on the area of my hand that rubs onto the paper. Now this is an easy fix, but having to wash your hands after every paper seems a little gratuitous if you ask me, and speaking of writing …
- 2) Having to navigate around the spiral portion of the notebook when writing
Another schoolhouse problem. Three ring binders are the same so don’t think you’re getting off easy. Whenever lefties have to write in a notebook with the spirals on the left hand side, they are forced to almost arch their arm to give them room to write as if they were lining up a pool shot. It looks absolutely ridiculous and feels all the same. Luckily with just about all schoolwork and work being done via computer, these two issues are starting to phase out.
- 3) Computer mouses (mice?) being righty-friendly
Another problem that isn’t too big of an issue now thanks to laptops, but a real pain anyway. Whenever we were blessed tasked with having class in the computer lab in elementary school, the mouse for every desktop computer would be on the right side. So, before little eight year old me could start his typing exercises, I would have to take the chord and wrap it around the big ass monitor so I could use my left hand, which would then be awkward since they would tangle and the buttons were fit for the high born right handed. But as Triple H used to say, “Those who don’t adapt will perish.” Now I’m a switch hitter when it comes to using desktop computers. I’m the Jimmy Rollins of PC's.
- 4) Trying to find a baseball glove
Absolutely infuriating as a kid. Every sporting goods store would have the sickest gloves of all colors and designs, except three quarters of them would be right handed. This being the case, it was slim pickings for your boy and lefties everywhere. But it wasn’t just baseball …
- 5) Finding left handed golf clubs was next to impossible
Today, males will learn golf early since it’s pretty much a life skill now. Most business deals are made on the golf course, and it’s great for getting away. Not me, I never was able to learn because I had absolutely zero access to left handed golf clubs, Phil Mickelson be damned. Now I feel like it’s too late to jump on board, same thing with guitars. But never say never.
- 6) Nobody shakes hands with their left
This is always just really awkward to deal with, because I naturally put old reliable out there, and have to switch mid-play. Arm wrestling was always a no-go growing up as well due to this issue. So I showed my strength by verbally abusing the tough guy arm wrestlers instead. The Tyrion Lannister approach.
- 7) Right handed scissors
I’m not even going to elaborate on this any further, because it’s only going to get me mad.
- 8) Nearly strangling my wrists using a pen at the bank
First of all, I don’t understand why banks need to chain the pen to the desk. It’s a pen. (Shout out to Larry David.) But maneuvering those things to attempt to sign my signature makes it damn near impossible, and it makes my signature look terrible. Don’t get me wrong, my handwriting sucks (is that a lefty thing?) but at a bank it looks like I was writing it on an off-roading Jeep.
- 9) Bumping elbows with right handed people
I’m past the point of apologizing for this. Why? I was born this way and that's OK because Gaga said so.
. 10) Dying quicker
Yep. There have been studies to support this.
You know what, despite these hardships, it’s all good in the left handed neighborhood. I’m glad I’m part of the select few deemed epic enough to do everything with the opposite hand as everyone else. I wear it as a badge of honor. This list wasn’t sour grapes, it was just an attempt to bring attention to how we, as a people, overcome adversity on the regular. So as all my lefties would raise their glass with their left hand, cheers.