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My Top 10 Best Tweets

Yup, I'm actually promoting my own Twitter.

Lilly Frederick

Jul 10, 2017

College of Charleston

Pexels

There are a lot of funny people in this world and I’d like to consider myself one. Of course, so do most people. However, most people wouldn’t write an article showcasing why they think they’re funny with proof from their Twitter. But me? I have no shame. In fact, I have so little shame, I’m willing to exploit myself to all my (five) readers by sharing with them some of my best/funniest/relatable tweets of all time. Am I aware that most people won’t find me as funny as I do? Yes. Do I sound like a total douche-B for saying on more than one occasion in this article alone that I think I’m hilarious? Yes, 100%. Do I care? Eh, not really. I might later when people start telling me I’m not funny, but I’m willing to chance it if I make a few people chuckle. Or at the very least exhale loudly in amusement.

1. This is a warning to my future husband

If you don’t know what this song is, you probably won’t understand why it’s funny. I recommend to everyone out there to watch it now. It’ll change your life.

2. Breasts: the catchall for everything

3. Corrupting the elderly one text at a time

4. And this one, when I corrupt her with the youth's language

You know that scene in “The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement” when Queen Clarisse exclaims “Shut up!” in a courtroom and her right-hand man, the Prime Minister, has to explain to the room full of old men what “shut up” means to Americans? I felt like the Prime Minister in this instance.

5. This incredibly NSFS (not safe for school) tweet

I’d like to apologize to the College of Charleston baseball team for my public objectification of them. If only their skin was less tan and asses weren’t so tight.

6. This incredibly clever pun

I can actually feel your eyes rolling at this one.

7. When a menu got too relatable

This is quite possibly my best tweet of all time ever.

8. This one goes out to all my "Twilight" lovers

#TeamEdward4Life

9. It's not just for cooking

10. This one needs no explanation

Give me a follow, guys. I’m always providing quality content.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

My Top 10 Best Tweets

Yup, I'm actually promoting my own Twitter.

1. This is a warning to my future husband

2. Breasts: the catchall for everything

3. Corrupting the elderly one text at a time

4. And this one, when I corrupt her with the youth's language

5. This incredibly NSFS (not safe for school) tweet

6. This incredibly clever pun

7. When a menu got too relatable

8. This one goes out to all my "Twilight" lovers

9. It's not just for cooking

10. This one needs no explanation

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

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1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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