***Disclaimer: This is an article that briefly touches on topics of a political nature, but I don’t name names, call people names, or share my opinion on who was elected for the presidency. This piece of writing is just me trying to flesh out an idea/concept that I keep seeing around me and I think it’s worth sharing. Thank you.***
On a recent visit home, I had the distinct pleasure of listening to my 13-year-old sister and her friends talking about the political circus that’s going on around us right now. I won’t name names or repeat what was said word-for-word because what they said isn’t necessarily the point I want to make —it’s how they came to these decisions and formed these opinions. Listening to their arguments and the points they were making made me remember the first two elections I was aware of as a child and the opinions I had regurgitated to anyone who thought to ask me about it. And that’s what it was, really—as smart as I like to think I was, my preferred candidates, thoughts on current events, etc. were all carefully gleaned from the adult figures closest to me and the media I chose to pay attention to. So I asked my sister why she supported (as much as someone who can’t vote can truly ‘support’ a candidate) the person she did, halfway hoping that she’d at least surprise me with her reasoning.
Yeah, no. Apparently she picked the one whose name she liked best.
But listening to those kids got me thinking about the things we learn as children and how those values shape our opinions as adults. (I have an idea that I want to walk you through, so just bear with me.)
For the concept I want to get at, let’s look at “sharing.”
We are expected to learn to share at an early age, sharing toys and games at school and at home, though we often resist at first. Because even as we’re reminded that sharing is something that “good people” do, we as humans are hardwired to have a selfish default setting for a lot of things.
It’s this selfish part of the human race that’s really been bothering me lately.
Let me give you a scenario—and we’ll use kids again, just to bring this whole thing full-circle.
There’s a fifth grader named Natalie who gets to eat a snack in the middle of the day in her classroom, even though eating isn’t allowed for the rest of the students.
On the surface, it makes sense for the other kids to envy Natalie. But the reason Natalie has this special snack privilege is because she’s been diabetic since she was a toddler and she needs the snacks to keep her blood sugar under control. Natalie also has to go get insulin shots every day at lunch, which isn’t nearly as glamorous as getting to eat a granola bar in class.
Now, even though their teacher explained Natalie’s snack privilege to the students, there are still a few kids who secretly don’t think it’s fair. It doesn’t change anything that these students still won’t get snacks if Natalie doesn’t—their envy stems purely from the idea that someone has something that they do not have. And do you know what? This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of in my whole goddamn life.
Do these students who say it isn’t “fair” want to develop diabetes and have to be stuck with needles every day in order to get snack privileges? No, because most of those same kids don’t know what it’s like to have a condition that limits them so severely and they can’t handle getting shots at the doctor’s office, let alone shots every day at lunchtime. They simply can’t wrap their heads around the fact that, even though they wouldn’t want all the awful parts of Natalie’s circumstances, she gets to have something they don’t.
The real kicker is that Natalie doesn’t even see her “snack privilege” as a privilege. To her, it’s something she needs to do to stay healthy. And if she had the choice to be healthy like her classmates, she would. But instead she has to wolf down a granola bar and juice in front of her peers and then face their petty envy, all for something out of her control.
I’m not going to put this in the context of today’s society and the issues we’re debating right now because I think it’s applicable to a lot of them, so feel free to do that part yourself. What I want to leave you with the final points I spent this whole convoluted article trying to make:
-If you want to support a political idea, make sure that it’s actually yours.
-If you feel yourself gravitating toward that selfish part of yourself, take the time to decide whether or not it makes sense.
-Don’t let the envy of what others might have guide your actions, especially if it has no connection to your own happiness.
Seriously. If we begrudge others for things and opportunities that they have purely because we’ve decided it’s “not fair” (at least according to us in our own tiny minds), then we’ve lost as a society.
Also, it's not always about "you" so get over yourselves.
