Maybe it's the amount of Ariana Grande I've been listening to recently, the two a days I'm doing at the yoga studio, and meeting with a trainer again that is changing me but I've been thinking a lot recently about how wrapped up I used to get in the idea of being ghosted.

The idea that I screwed up, the idea that I wasn't good enough, funny enough, pretty enough, or whatever B.S. excuse I used to give myself about my lack of luck in the dating department. I always wanted to blame myself for things ending since I have been single for a while.

That is not a crime that I haven't been with someone. I truly believe it is a higher power's doing that I am being given so many lessons to learn about what I want in a relationship with a man, not a boy.

None of them are true. It is not my fault that things ended abruptly or were drawn out for a long period of time just for you to vanish. None of it is on me. But I will say thank you for the list of things you taught me in the end. As the song goes,"One taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain, now I'm so amazing."

A song which ironically came out on a day that a boy had stood me up and ghosted me. I guess everything does happen for a reason as I sat looking at my phone wondering why he hadn't called or texted, I found this song and listened to it on repeat and the lessons from this sunk in deeply.

They let me think about how I had been overanalyzing things. How I forgot the crucial piece of dating that many of us let go of when we get so wrapped in the idea of something.

You taught me that it is okay to be open and excited about new possibilities. You might have even been lucky enough to meet a couple of my friends, a privilege you didn't deserve. My friends play such an important role in my life that they want nothing but the best for me.

The idea that someone is genuinely pursuing me, in the beginning, is always a new and interesting adventure. Being bought things, having those long conversations, and every mushy thing you can think of have been done for me which I am still very much grateful for.

However, how the boys who have chased me have chosen to proceed is their choice and their choice alone. My choices did not influence THEIR decision to up and leave without an explanation. My kindness did not deter from being realistic and honest about what I expected.

Thank you for showing me how to accept myself more and more each day. Thank you for reminding me I graduate in less than a month with my bachelor's and start my future.

Thank you for letting me find comfort in my friends and how to bounce back a bit quicker. Also, if I opened up to you in any estimation, thank you for making me feel comfortable enough to do so. I find it extremely significant when I am given reason to feel safe and to be able to trust.

Just remember that little part of me that I did let you in on. Remember how I acted and how I felt when I told you these things. Please remember that I trusted you at that moment in time. It is okay that things didn't work out for us. It's a stepping stone to the betterment of future.