Growing up Southern Baptist, I experienced some things in church that I had to fight against in my head. When you're young, the teachers and preachers always say that God loves and forgives all, but as you get older, they start to change the message; the people who taught you about your loving God begin telling you that God's love is limited to just some people. I hated that they tried to tell me God's will without following it themselves, and that led me away from the church for a long time.
When someone would mention God, I would sit quietly and listen, or I would politely ask them not to talk about their religion in front of me; I was convinced that, if God were real, He was a cruel entity. With no testimony guiding me, I was clinically depressed; I philosophized for hours on end, and I threw myself into the world of scientific and fictional books. Growing more inquisitive everyday, I began to seek out different people's opinions on religion; I spoke to so many people that I can not recall most of the conversations. It seemed that no answer quite satisfied me, but I kept searching; I listened to Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, ect. I longed for fulfillment, and then I found it.
Upon visiting my hometown in May, my best friend told me her testimony with the church and insisted I go to with her. I went, and the church altered me completely; the Holy Ghost moves in that church like I have never experienced before. The first time I went to the church, it was just eye-opening, and I was baffled throughout. However the second time I attended, it wasn't my eyes that were opened — it was my soul. To think that I nearly did not go that morning is horrifying. My friends introduced me to their church friends and even the pastor Bro. Teddy — as he was not there during my first visit — and then we took our seats. They went about the normal routine: the choir sang, and people shook hands saying things like, "It's so good to see you!" and, "God bless!" After this, Brother Teddy got up and started preaching; although I can not remember what about, I do remember the moment he uttered the word "depression." Suddenly, a man I had only met that morning was standing right in front of me, looking me dead in the eyes, and telling me things about myself that I had never told anyone; I know God was speaking through him to me. When he asked if he could lay hands on me, I stood up and let a group of people I barely knew lay hands on my arms, shoulders, back, heart, and pray for me. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a sheet over me, and I couldn't move for a good three minutes. The Holy Ghost took over, and I am forever indebted.
My way of life is forever altered, and I am forever grateful for that; however even before I found Christ, I prided myself on kindness, and I try to show kindness through my faith. I always try to be kind to others, and I enjoy it when others are kind to me. No one deserves to be treated cruelly, and I do not believe God likes for us to shun our peers. I am the kind of person that wholeheartedly follows Galatians 5:14, "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." I believe there is evil in the world, but people being who they are is not a form of that evil. As my faith grows, I do as well. however, I am still introverted, and that can be taxing. I may not say much, but when I do, I make what I say matter; I try not to ever be cruel. Cruelty sparks feelings in people that should never be upturned, and I do not want to cause the uprising of negative feelings that could easily be prevented. If Jesus had the time to show mercy on those less fortunate, why don't we? Kindness is universal, so spread it.
