The other day I had a sudden realization that I am one of the only people in my friend group at school without a boyfriend but it is because of some of my friends relationships that I don't want one. A lot of my friends constantly talk about marriage and having children now, despite us all being eighteen, they have sacrificed educational opportunities, life experiences, and time with friends for their boyfriend's. I have been told by my friends that girls without boyfriends don't have a purpose and they don't understand how I am happy without one. Some of my friend's relationships with their boyfriends are truly toxic and unhealthy; they're become so involved with their boyfriends that they aren't even really a person anymore- they're just someone's girlfriend. I'm not saying that having a boyfriend is a bad thing, but I've been taught that a guy should add to my life in a positive way and that a guy should not take over my life entirely, I've been taught this very valuable lesson by my dad.

Despite many of my friends telling me that I am not a believer in true love, I don’t turn my nose up at it as I have witnessed the greatest love story of all time- my parents. My parents met when they were both eighteen and have been together ever since- relationship goals! My dad comes home every day and gives my mom a big hug and kiss. I live in a household where my parents constantly cuddle, hold hands, and talk through one another's problems- I am very blessed. If I ever do get married I hope my marriage is like theirs. My parents are also my best friends, I tell them almost everything, but my dad and I are basically the same person- we even look exactly alike. My dad and I watch the bachelor together, he’s introduced me to my two favorite movies, “Breakfast at Tiffany's” and “Ferris Bueller's Day Off”, when I was going through my Eminem phase he listened to it too, and he’s not only done that with Eminem, he listens to Coldplay, The Chainsmokers, Lana Del Rey, The Weeknd, the La La Land soundtrack- he even researched the information for “Hamilton” when I started loving the musicals songs. He’s always made the effort to see what me and my friends are doing- he’s now got the reputation of the “cool dad”. More importantly my dad is a down to earth, good guy. He’s always supported me and had my back through everything I’ve gone through and decided to do. Every time I’ve changed my major my dad’s been there with me, figuring out a way to make it work. My dad works extremely hard at his job, expecting no praise, and he does everything for my little family, he cooks, he cleans, he always tries to be around, he’s a best friend and a parent rolled into one, he loves my mom to pieces and most importantly he has taught me to not be- “That Girl”

I have had boyfriends; I've had three decently serious ones considering they were in high school. I've tried my best to never become "That Girl", the girl whose whole life revolves around her boyfriend. My dad's always told me to date a guy that's smart, not book smart, just driven, someone who has dreams and wants to go places and is doing his best to achieve them, passionate, not arrogant, takes care of you but also has his own life too. Despite my relationships ending with all three of my ex's, I respect all of them because they were genuinely down-to-earth, good guys, who treated me well and they were all healthy relationships. I don't think having a boyfriend is a bad thing because I learned so much about myself through my relationships. I simply don't want one right now, which should be okay.

Of course this leads back to my dad. If I’m going to introduce you to my dad you have to be up to par. My dad can spot a bad guy from miles away. My dad has sat down with me and told me there is a lot more I can give to the world than the stereotypical, “A woman’s only purpose is to get married and have kids.” My dad's always told me to never sacrifice academics, friends, family, the things you love, or life experiences for a guy, I truly look up to my dad and his words of wisdom mean a lot. I turned sixteen when I think I truly learned and realized what I deserved. I knew what I brought to the table in terms of relationships- my boyfriends and my best friends, and I bring a lot of good. I deserve the same in return. I also know how to treat a guy and it's not all one way- I’ve learned from my parents relationship that a healthy relationship truly takes two. I don’t expect to be spoiled rotten, I don’t want my boyfriends to ever spend heaps of money on me, I don’t expect my boyfriend to be clingy and I’m not clingy in return- I want my space- you have to have a mutual respect.

I’ve been single for only five months now, which isn’t long and I’ve never been happier. There are a lot of things I need to do. I’m in college and I’m here to get a degree not find a husband but I'm open minded to the fact that I might meet a guy in college who I fall in love with. Right now however, I’ve been on dates, hang out with and gotten to know several guys and each time I’ve stopped it before it got too serious because I know I’d never allow these guys to meet my dad. I’ll come back to the dorms and tell my friends about the several, “red flags” I saw on the date and they’ll roll their eyes and say, “You can’t have that many red flags! He’s not perfect” I don’t want a perfect guy because I’m not a perfect girl. But I don’t want to be called a “feminazi” when I say I haven’t thought about having kids and I don’t want to hear all about a guy's crazy ex girlfriend on the first date. I’m not going to date a guy just for the sake of it and no I’m not a lesbian (some of my friends have asked me that), just because I’m not desperately needing a boyfriend all the time, I'm not going to date someone just to date someone. I want to travel, help as many people as a can, explore, and spend time with my friends. I'm eighteen and having a husband and having kids isn't on my mind. I know that one day I’ll find someone who meets my weird high standards- I’ll find a guy who will love dogs as much as I do, who’ll cook for me, who’ll not complain when I put “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” on for the a millionth time in a row, he’ll sing along when I play “Hamilton” in the car, and he’ll tell me that I’m not crazy when I say zodiac signs are for real. Because I am extremely confident this person is out there- but I’m eighteen and I’ve got too much living to do to think about him too much, he’ll come along when he’s supposed to (and hopefully not for another ten years).

All of this, I have my dad to thank for and I’ve never thanked him. I’ve never thanked him for treating my mom, my brother, and me with so much love, I've never thanked him for being a person that I look up to. For never hitting us, for never being reckless in quitting his job, for never drinking too much or resorting to drugs, I’ve never thanked my dad for just being around, for being there, for being a good dad. I am very lucky that I have a dad who has taught me all about my worth and what I deserve and setting my standards for myself so high. I know that a lot of my friends want to settle down with their boyfriends because their dads simply weren't around and I am thankful that mine was.