It's spring break. I am sitting in the break room between retail jobs. My feet, propped up on a chair throbbing, my hair is falling from my bun and caked with dry shampoo. I am day dreaming of my bed while mindlessly scrolling through Facebook. All of my "friends" are posting gorgeous pictures of exciting places with fruity drinks and breathtaking views. As my blood begins to boil I switch to Instagram, then Snapchat, but it is all the same. I stop, set my phone down and look around the freezing stockroom i'm slumped over in.
Why can't that be me?
I sit here fuming about how I wish that was me, I am the one who works two jobs to stay afloat and I deserve the break. I am spending spring break working 60 hours, I am the one who deserves to go on a cruise or to the beach. That might all be true but that is not the hand I was dealt in life.
Growing up my parents told me not to compare myself to others, that being envious will get me nowhere. Growing up we lived without but I did not mind, I just enjoyed playing outside and riding my bike. As I got older I grew envious of my peers for the things they were allowed to do like go to rated R movies or get their belly button pierced but I quickly realised I did not care for those things in the first place. As a high schooler I envied my peers for their class rank and the incredible college opportunities, but, I reassured myself that I was just as smart and had as many opportunities as they did.
Now, as a college senior who has grown up with social media, I am constantly comparing myself to others. Every time I look at my phone I am comparing myself to someone else. "I should be the one on vacation," or, "I should be able to go out to eat whenever I want."
I have to work to stay alive, and I do have nice things like a big TV, an incredible desk and cute shoes (it's the small things people) but everytime I look at my phone I end up wanting more.
Comparing myself to others like this is not fair. I know that my peers have their parents paying for their things, that they have little responsibilities and I do have to take care of myself but that sense of pride becomes clouded by envy. But, it is not until I look at my phone or computer that I become envious.
My solution? Stop comparing myself to others on social media. It does nothing but tear me down when I really have so much to be happy about. While it is a somewhat impossible task it's manageable. I have to remember, Instagram and Facebook posts are not real, no ones life is that perfect. They are probably fighting their own demons, I do not want those. That my peers post the absolute best side when in reality, it might not all be rainbows and butterflies. Do a social media purge, get rid of the overly negative and the overly dramatic.
At the end of the day I have a roof over my head, nice things and wonderful friends. That is what matters. One of these days I will get that dream vacation, but it will be because of my hard work and trust me, it will be worth it.
