Getting straight to the point, I am bisexual. I am now officially out of the closet, I guess.
Never did I think that I would have to come out with my sexuality nor did I ever want to, but here I am. On social media, I have been fairly open about my sexual orientation but most of my family members and some friends that I am no longer very close to have no idea that I am attracted to both boys and girls.
Something I would also like to mention is that I am actually pansexual. However, for anytime that I have stated my sexuality to someone I always say that I am bisexual. There isn't a massive difference on the spectrum of sexuality but there is a big enough difference to want to differentiate between the two of them. Bisexuality is the attraction to both males and females whereas pansexuality is the attraction to those who identify anywhere along the gender spectrum including cisgender males and females as well as those who identify as androgynous, intersex, non-binary, etc. Pansexuality is seen as a more progressive label, however, there is a lot of debate on the two identities and whether or not prejudice and convenience is involved. As for me, I personally identify as pansexual but say that I am bisexual because it is a better known and more common label. Essentially, I identify as bisexual so I do not have to explain my sexual orientation to someone when stating my sexual orientation is already difficult enough.
Recently, I have seen articles discussing how people who are part of the LGBTQIAA community have developed their sexuality rather than being born with their sexual idenity as heterosexuals are. This is a very controversial subject as most people believe they are born with their sexuality but some people do not agree that it's true. For as far back as I can remember, I have always been bisexual.
There is one very distinct moment in first grade that I first realized I had a different sexuality than everyone I knew. During recess, my friend group at the time would gather in a circle and talk about our crushes for that week. Because for a bunch of six year olds, we thought we were mature enough to understand what our feelings meant. However, you could also safely say we were a little boy crazy. It was only after becoming close to one of the girls in my friend group that I realized I had a crush on her but nobody talked about having a crush on a girl. Growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I knew what being gay was at a very early age as well as knowing that it was nothing to be ashamed of. Although I was never ashamed of having a crush on a girl, I was too shy and scared at the time to say something that varied from the things that my friends were saying. Without even fully knowing it, my mentality was that if my friends liked boys and only boys, then I liked boys and only boys. Although, in that moment I realized that I had feelings for both boys and girls, but that was a sexuality I had never heard of. It wasn't until middle school that I learned about bisexuality and what it meant to be bisexual. That also meant that I started to learn about the constant stigmas and stereotypes that are associated with being bisexual.
Being openly bisexual means having to continuously deal with people that think they know what your personal sexual orientation means and the type of things that you are into. One of the biggest stereotypes is that the only type of sex you are looking for are threesomes. To my absolute horror, I received a DM asking if I was interested in having a threesome with the cocky Twitter user and his (most likely unassuming) girlfriend. This message was received only a week after I openly said I was bisexual for the first time on any social media platform. Another popular stereotype is that every female bisexual is an attention seeking slut and every male bisexual is actually gay and too afraid to completely come out. These two stereotypes are very damaging too every person involved as it furthers the stigma that bisexuals are confused, experimenting, greedy, indecisive, and most likely to cheat on their significant other.
I am not ashamed nor will I ever be ashamed to be bisexual. In the beginning of the article I stated that I never planned or wanted to come out. This doesn't mean that I was too scared or ashamed to come out but rather I do not feel that any person should ever have to come out. Although I know that this sadly is not the case for many people, I hope that one day it will be true. In my thinking, if a straight person does not have to come out then neither should anyone else. I'm also a firm believer that nobody should ever assume the personal pronouns that people use for themselves, but that is an entirely different idea.
To be quite frank, I am proud to be apart of the LGBTQIAA community (although, I think a better name could be used) and though there is a lot of progress that still needs to be made, I can't say that no progress has been made. There will always be that person who uses various reasons to discriminate against us, but no longer will we let your fear hold us back.
