People always ask me how I have the ability to wear what I want, when I want, without caring what anyone thinks. I’m always confused about how to answer that, because trust me, it wasn’t always that easy.
Being a girl means you get judged for whatever you do, whatever you wear, and however you act. It never stops. Apparently, being a girl means being on your best behavior, looking your best, and constantly pleasing others, regardless of how any of that makes YOU feel.
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Well I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of trying to fit everyone else’s expectations.
So, I changed my perspective. I started doing whatever I wanted, because if you’re going to be judged for everything you do, might as well do whatever you want, am I right ladies?
I started with what I wear on a day to day basis. Before, I never used to care what I dressed like. I felt like it didn’t matter, because people were quick to make remarks, so why bother trying to look my best if they were always going to point out some flaw?
I quickly came to realize that I was squashing my happiness for the sake of others. And that didn’t sit right with me, so I knew I had to change.
My style can only be defined as edgy. I’m a minimalist. I find beauty in classic pieces, like a monochromatic chiffon blouse or a leather jacket. I appreciate fashion that looks simplistic, but is much more organized than you’d think. I’m a sucker for anything black, and you can always catch me wearing my combat boots.
So, I started dressing in outfits like the ones I’d normally pin on my Pinterest board. I branched out of my usual sweatshirt and sweatpants/jeans and started wearing clothes out of my comfort zone.
Surprisingly, the switch wasn’t too hard. I always loved fashion, I just never felt confident enough to express it. But, sometimes life forces you to face criticism head on, and strength can come from moments of weakness. And that was where my confidence really started. Realizing what was important to me was the first step I took to gaining my own independence, especially when it came to what I wore.
My new style definitely caught eyes when I first started wearing more edgy, defined clothes. It took some time getting adjusted to the surprised looks, but it was worth it. People began complimenting me on my outfits, or asking me how I managed to wear a decent outfit for a 9 AM class. It was great to get all that feedback after having so many people underestimate the kind of person I was. People used to look at me like I was a nobody, someone that never mattered or never looked good enough to catch their eye. It was a refreshing change that I welcomed, and one that fueled me to continue doing what I do now.
Now don't get me wrong, I still had some haters. People will always try to find something to dislike about you, and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you stay true to yourself, forget what others say. If they're talking negatively about how you dress, well, if they can’t say it to your face, what value do those words have honestly?
ANYWAY, as time progressed, I felt more and more comfortable in my own skin, and I truly believe that it came from taking control of what I wore. Most people don’t understand the power of clothing. Wearing what you want gives you confidence you never thought you had. Especially during a time where women are ridiculed for what they wear or falsely victimized because of it, it’s important to never let the negativity of others dictate your happiness. Bad things will always happen, but to constantly cower away and be fearful limits your chance to be content with yourself. You owe it to yourself to do what you want, wear what you want, be who you want and never let anyone dictate otherwise. Who are they to tell you you can’t wear socks and sandals, or bright neon leggings? If that’s what you find comfortable, or what makes you happy, then so be it. Besides, it’s a little comforting knowing you’re having a great time, while you’re causing discomfort to someone who can’t seem to appreciate the same sentiment as you.
So, back to the initial question: why do I have the strength to wear what I want? It’s simple, really. It comes from within. Clothes are just clothes, but personality is what make them look amazing.
You can try wearing a new style, but unless you feel like your worthy of wearing it, or you truly believe you look good in something, it will never translate to anyone. It's always important to remember that you’re wearing your confidence, not just your clothes.
Next time you feel you might not look that good in that dress or those skinny jeans, ask yourself this: did you notice, or even CARE, what most people are wearing? Most likely not. So as long as you have the confidence to say “I know I’ll look good in that,” you will look great no matter what.
Do yourself a favor and think like Beyonce. I’m sure she goes into her closet every morning and thinks “I’m Beyonce, I’ll slay anything I wear.”
You too, are Beyonce. Maybe not literally, but you CAN slay anything you want to wear. I believe in you, and you should too.
So be confident in who you are and what you choose to wear. This doesn’t just imply clothing, but how you look, how you speak, how you act, and who you are. Take your identity and embrace it. Because girl, you’re too fabulous to think otherwise.
