During my second semester, I decided to join the campaign, Not On My Campus, which is a student led movement to end sexual assault on college campuses. I volunteered by heading out information cards about sexual assault statistics on college campuses, beneficial resources for those affected by sexual assault, and upcoming events to take a stand against sexual assault. I also took photos of people who wrote the saying “Not On My Campus” on their hands as they took the pledge to stand up against sexual assault. The statistics of college students affected by sexual assault was frightening to me, especially after watching the documentary, The Hunting Ground. Statistics say that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 16 men will be sexually assaulted while in college. According to RAINN, https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victimsthe Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, 1 in 6 women has been sexually assaulted in their lifetime, while 1 in 33 men have been sexually assaulted.
After the Not On My Campus campaign, I attended the Take Back the Night rally. Toward the end of the rally, sexual assault survivors were encouraged to tell their stories. One by one, I saw TCU students, mostly female students, tell their stories. Some of them were people I knew and I would’ve never guessed they had been sexually assaulted, because they acted like everything was fine. That night I had asked my roommate to go with me to the rally and she refused to. My roommate earlier in the semester had been sexually assaulted in her dorm room. Her name will remain anonymous. Her experience taught me not to be a bystander, because I was there when it happened.
My roommate had a guy friend over one night. I was at the sink getting ready for bed when I heard them in her room having sex. I started to hear my roommate say “stop” several times. I shrugged it off, not really thinking anything of it at the time. While I was in my room, I heard him leave and my roommate crying. My roommate told me that the sex was consensual at first until she started bleeding and was in pain. She told me she asked him to stop, but he wouldn’t until he was finished. I kept asking myself why I didn’t knock on her door to make sure she was OK when I speculated something may be wrong. I confided in a faculty member who informed me it wasn’t my fault.
After this incident took place, I choose to take a pledge as part of the It’s On Us campaign, which is a promise to not “be a bystander to the problem, but to be a part of the solution.” According to the It’s On Us campaign, the best way to not be a bystander is to “recognize” the difference between consent and not consent, to “identify” incidences where sexual assault may occur, to “intervene” when consent cannot be given, and to “create” a safe environment that does not support sexual assault. These are steps we all can take to protect those around us, including friends, family, colleagues, etc.
At the beginning of the semester, TCU put on an event called the Tunnel of Oppression, which sheds light on those who are oppressed in various ways. As I went through the tunnel, I approached a room where a male and female student were acting out a scenario. The male student was trying to peer pressure the female student into drinking more, in which he succeeded. The male student dragged the female student into another room. I stood there and the female student came out of the other room and it was clear that she had been assaulted with a fake cut across her lip. She looked at the group I was in and asked, “Why didn’t you say anything?” This room impacted me the most, because I understood the role I was playing in the scene as the bystander. It is a big responsibility to involve yourself in a situation to prevent sexual assault, but it will be more beneficial to the possible victim who you will be protecting from a potential dangerous outcome.
I encourage more people to take the pledge to not be a bystander and to protect both men and women from sexual assault. If you’re interested in taking the pledge, please visit itsonus.org.
