If you're a golf fan, and you had access to cable television this past weekend, you were watching the Players Championship. If you're a golf fan, had access to cable TV, and didn't watch...well then you aren't a golf fan. Jason Day won for the 7th time in his last 17 starts on tour. That is absolutely ridiculous, and something we haven't seen since our lord and savior Tiger Woods was in his prime. All of that aside, the greens on Saturday were RIDICULOUSLY fast, and we saw some of the best players in the world shoot scores that we rarely ever see them shoot. Rory Mcilroy had FIVE 3-putts, a ton of people shot 80, and the field was a combined 254 over par!!!!!! WHAT!?!? These are the best players in the world, and they were that far over par? I can't even imagine how fast those greens must have been rolling. Yet and still, Ken Duke, 47 years of age, hits the ball absolutely nowhere, sporting his Houston Astros tour visor got around the Stadium Course in 65 strokes...65. SEVEN under par, on a day when the field averaged 76. I haven't looked at any of the stats, but that's gotta be one of the best weekend rounds ever on the PGA Tour in relation to the field average. It was one of the top 5 most impressive rounds I have ever seen. More impressive than most 59s, more impressive than Jason Day shooting -20 at Whistling Straights. I would put it in my top 5 along with Tiger's final round and playoff round at Torrey in 2008, Phil's final round 66 at Muirfield in 2013, YE Yang becoming the first player to ever beat Tiger when he had a 54 hole lead in a major (can you imagine the guts that took?) and then Ken Duke.
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StableDiffusion
Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face
StableDiffusionThis tradition is meant to drive away bad spirits of the past, but honestly, it's more like a free concert...your friends should really be paying you for your services if you decide to do this on New Year's Eve.
Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket
StableDiffusionIt's been sitting there since what, 8:00? You snooze you lose, and besides, no one's paying attention to you anyway.
Pop Twelve White Grapes
StableDiffusionIf you were in Spain, everyone would be doing just this. One grape for every month of the year. It's supposed to be lucky and stuff.
Burn Something
Photo by Ian Schneider on UnsplashIt's really not that odd-- families in Ecuador burn scarecrows every year on New Year's Eve. It's a symbol of diminishing the negativity of last year. Perhaps preform this one outside though, just to be safe of course.
Smash Things Against a Wall
Photo by Lidye on UnsplashWe can thank the Irish for this bright idea, they use bread specifically though. Who knows why this is a tradition, but it certainly seems like it could be incredibly soothing, don't you think?
Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig
Photo by Melissa Askew on UnsplashThis isn't lucky or symbolic of anything, but it'll give you something to do at the stroke of midnight and you'll look god damn cool doing it.
Call Your Mother
rotary telephone
Photo by Vinicius "amnx" Amano on UnsplashWell, she did give birth to you. Midnight on New Year's Eve seems as good a time as any to thank her.
Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window
Photo by Kinga Howard on UnsplashAccording to South African tradition, it doesn't necessarily have to be a coffee table. It could be a futon, an ottoman, an armoire, really any piece of furniture that's old. It's for luck of course.
Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs
Photo by Chang Duong on UnsplashChannel your inner Beyonce, or Mariah, or whoever your Pop Star Diva Queen is and belt that tune. It'll be fantastic mood music.
Do Some Squats
Photo by Meghan Holmes on UnsplashMay as well start the New Year off by working on your inevitable resolution to drop some pounds. Why waste a single moment, you're likely forget the resolution by February anyway.
Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water
Photo by Brayden Prato on UnsplashAnother foreign tradition, this one is practiced by Germans. The kick of it is, you've got to do it while holding a lit torch. Again, who knows why this is a tradition, but its certainly sounds like a fun little challenge to ring in the New Year.
Take a Shot
Photo by Duri from Mocup on UnsplashAnd by shot, naturally I mean a snapshot. Perhaps a group photo, a selfie, or even an unfortunate snipe of your best friend. You'll feel loads better knowing you'll have something to always remember the first moments of 2025 by.
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