For everyone, this election was a monumental one. We had bad and badder as our options. We had a woman who was her fair share of politically corrupt, then we had a man who was his fair share of dangerous. One of the biggest phrases everyone heard during this past year was ‘picking the lesser evil’ and I believe that differs from person to person. I can stand here and adamantly state that I don’t believe there was a right or wrong answer to this election. Some peoples’ experiences and beliefs lead them to vote a certain way. My experiences and beliefs made me despise Donald Trump because he is my Eric. To some people, Donald Trump is the kid who called them a ‘faggot’ in middle school, for others, he is the group of people who called them a terrorist for wearing a hijab. He represents everything that they/I/we have worked so hard to overcome.

Eric means nothing to any of you, I guarantee it. Eric means a lot to me, though. Eric was the individual who decided that I wasn’t worth consent during my freshman year of college. He was the guy who made me question my worth as a person, made me wonder what I did to deserve it and made me think that I was the one in the wrong. When you get to college you hear of this thing called the ‘Red Zone’ and they lecture everyone about the importance of consent. There are posters in every hall stating that 1 in 5 females will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. When you are new to college you don’t realize the significance of 1 in 5. That means if you are sitting in a dorm room with 4 of your friends watching the new Greys Anatomy episode, one of you will be raped. That 1 in 5 was me.

It took me months to tell my mother and I didn’t tell her by choice. I felt so ashamed that I meant that little to someone. I felt as if I let my mother down. I felt as if I let everyone down. How could I tell my own mother that I didn’t fight hard enough? I didn’t kick and scream, I only begged no. I cried, too. I didn’t stop crying for days. I spent 14 hours in a hospital and police station, only for the police officer to drive me home and tell me that Eric wouldn’t be charged because it seemed as if I wanted it. Apparently, my begging and pleading for him to stop just made it seem like I wanted nothing more than his body on top of mine. You hear the words ‘Rape Victim’ and you don’t think anything of it because that happens in movies, not in real life. Only it does and it happened to me. It has happened to someone you know, whether you know it or not. Eric was set free even after I was bruised physically and scarred mentally. I haven’t dated in 4 years. I haven’t truly trusted a man since. Rape is not just forced sex; it is an invasion of privacy, it is a voice in your head telling you you’re not worth anything, it is one of the most degrading things someone will ever go through. When Eric left the police station as an innocent man I realized that my rape would never be something I would talk about because if the police officer didn’t take me seriously, who would?

I have done a really good job of moving forward from that situation and becoming a better person. I have gone to therapy and I learned that I am worthy of consent. I am worthy of everything beautiful in life. I now know that I did nothing to deserve that night. I stumbled across a bad man who I put too much trust into.

Donald Trump is that bad man to someone else. Donald Trump is the man who haunts someone’s nightmares because the way his hands left a feeling on their skin years after he touched them. The way his eyes yell ‘You are nothing but a body’. The way he is proud of his ability to disregard a female's worth.

Many people like to claim that all these women who filed sexual assault reports are liars. Let me tell you, it takes one hell of a woman to put herself in the eye of the public as a victim and know that she won’t see justice. No woman files a report expecting anything to happen, anybody to care or any justice to be served. Those women didn’t do it for attention because the only attention they have gotten is the title ‘liar' or 'slut'. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have filed a report because being told that I was lying was almost worse than the event itself, it’s knowing that people care so little about your well being. Those women came forward, not for themselves, but for the public. They wanted the world to know the type of man Donald Trump is. The US knew and still elected him. Oh, how we failed those women.

I guarantee that most of you who say ‘they all are lying’ actually know, deep inside, that this man has raped at least one person. The people who shrug off his comments as ‘locker room’ talk, I call fucking bullshit. You are okay with men talking about your daughters, sisters, mothers, friends, wives, and girlfriends in the way Donald Trump talked about women? If so, please look all the women in your life in the eye and say it. Say it in your vows when you marry the love of your life. Say it to your mother when it’s mothers day and you’re celebrating the fact that she brought you into this world. Say it to your daughter when she looks up at you with those innocent eyes. Tell all the women in your life that men will "grab them by the pussy" without consent and that it is okay. Tell them they will learn to live with it because they are women. Look them in the eye and tell them. Look me in the eye and tell me. Though at the end of the day, it shouldn’t matter if they are your favorite woman or a stranger on the street. We are human beings and we deserve more respect than that.

I know some people just don’t want to admit that the man they think will make this country great could do such a thing. Well, he can and he did. A man doesn’t get taken to court over circumstantial evidence. There has to be solid ground for this court date that is quickly approaching and the man on trial is our President. The President of the United States is on trial for sexual assault. That is why he is my Eric. The US elected the man who causes nightmares, self-doubt, suicidal idealizations, and self-hatred. By electing Donald Trump, the US told those women that their bodies still don’t mean anything. Their lives don’t mean anything. Their human rights don’t. mean. one. thing. By electing Donald Trump, the US told me the same thing.

This election opened a wound I forgot I had, but I will heal and so will everyone else. I woke up sad, scared, terrified because I knew the equivalent of my Eric was our new POTUS. My experience leads me to feel this way. It scares me because how can a woman confidently speak up after seeing women speak up publicly in front of the whole Nation and the accused is now our Commander in Chief. It scares me because I know it was hard to be strong before and now it will be only harder. I can only imagine the strength and bravery it will take to speak up now. Which is why I am speaking up. I don’t want our women to grow silent. I want us to become stronger, and unite. All the people doubting women, you are making it hard for the victims of this world to speak up. You are the same people who criticize the people who don’t speak up. You can’t put broken glass on the sidewalk, then wonder why people don’t walk down the street. This election was a stab in the chest to all survivors, including me.

I still don’t blame Trump supporters for believing he is the lesser evil. Just as I hope people won’t blame me for believing he isn’t. I will always respect the fact that everyone has a right to their own opinion. All that I ask is friends, family, acquaintances, stand with the people who are scared. Stand with the people who are devastated. Stand with the people who are mourning the outcome of this election. We are not whiny liberals. We are people who have experiences, just like you. Except our experiences lead us to feel the way we do. No one is asking you to apologize for your unrelenting support of Trump, just be patient with those of us who are not so ready to accept this as reality.

Be patient with those who have to forgive this country for choosing our nightmare. For choosing our rapists.