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My Post-Election Oxford English Dictionary Suggestions

It's almost that time of year and it's a brave new world

Charles Ellsworth Bergamo

Dec 19, 2016

Waterbury, CT

My Post-Election Oxford English Dictionary Suggestions

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As you know every year new words are added to the dictionary. So I decided to pull out my Oxford English Dictionary, go to the word Trump and cogitate upon what new words would be added to this classic lexicon as the result of this past year's election. Here is a list I came up with and their respective definitions:

Trumpeteer - A youthful follower of Donald Trump usually adorned with a blonde hair wig, in the way of the mouse-keeter.

Trumpian - An unexpected victory by anyone that everyone else believes can not and should not be in the position for which that person ultimately succeeds to.

Trumpalooza - 1. a media event where Donald Trump rolls out all his branded products, including Trump labeled toilet paper, which we understand Hillary uses on a daily basis to wipe her you-know-what. 2. Hillary Clinton was the looza to Trump.

Trumpeete - A female follower of Donald Trump.

Strumpet - 1. a female follower of Donald Trump who follows him because that's where the bad boys are according to Gloria Steinem much as in the same vein as her progressive view of the female followers of Bernie Sanders. 2. Women who feel grabbed by his message.

Trumpaganza - Any large event that Donald Trump attends but clearly does not refer to any part of his anatomy.

Fantasmatrumpian - a term used in Hollywood for any story that clearly is so absurd and ridiculous no studio would develop; originally a fantasy story where Donald Trump, who is a TV reality star, bankrupt, thrice married man who says the most unpolitical things, runs and is elected President of the United States and is permitted to play with nuclear weapons; gives a whole new meaning to exactly who is smoking mushrooms.

Trumpaganda - A tweet from Donald Trump.

Ivantatrump - Eastern European women who illegally cross the border in search of their version of The Donald.

A Thhrummping - What happened to the 16 republican nominees for president.

A Trumping - What happened to Hillary Clinton in the general election.

Trumpashpere - People who revolve around Donald Trump usually found riding elevators up and down Trump Tower.

Trumpmatic - An object that does anything, promises everything and the media is clueless to understand why

Trumpputin(pronounced trump pa ten) - The coming together of two future Nobel Peace Prize winning humanitarians.

Trumpogoly - Donald Trump's cabinet

Trumpistan - What the country looks like after eight years of Donald Trump.

You can play this game as a diversion after your dinner or while enjoying your favorite cocktails with friends. Far more entertaining then attempting to make up words using Clinton, which in hindsight may be why she lost. Even her name has no joy or fun attached to it

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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My Post-Election Oxford English Dictionary Suggestions

It's almost that time of year and it's a brave new world

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Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

Syllabus week doesn't exist.

All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!