Life is hard. I know you understand that and you experience things with a vivid, empathetic fullness that can be overwhelming. Though I'd blame it on puberty, I don't think it's wise to really debase anyone's emotions. Even my own. That's something you'll learn along the way. To never discredit how anyone feels, even if you don't understand why that is.
Life is weird. You'll make friends and lose them in a matter of years. The closest ones may not always be the closest ones in the end. And that's okay. Grieve the losses and feel the pain, but never stew in it. The world is so vast and there is so much to do and so many new people to see. Pain just takes you out of the now. Makes you forget how hard your body works to keep you alive.
Recommended for you
We're not so different, I mean, we're practically the same person, even if I am older (and maybe a little dorkier, but you'll accept that over time too). Mirrored images of a time spent to ourselves. You have insecurities that eat at you and never seem to leave. I'm still working through them. Tucked some of them away with acceptance —because no, there is no concrete definition of what beauty is; it's a construct after all — while new ones have creeped up. And that's all okay. No one is completely okay with everything in their life, it's what makes us human.
You'll grow up and I know that's a scary idea. Responsibilities and changes in your daily routine. There are more expectations on your shoulders and people look to you to make every choice worthwhile. It can be, for lack of a better notion, entirely disheartening. Even when you're older it'll still feel like it's not really happening to you and everyone else has got it together but you. That's not the case though. Everyone struggles, some people are just better at hiding it.
College is just around the corner for me and I felt like this letter would be a nice way to pick you up from whatever melodramatic moment of introspection you've fallen through and show you how far you've come. In looks and in personality, you have morphed drastically. And unfortunately I can say that life doesn't get any easier. You do, however, learn to appreciate more. And this is the almost-19-year-old saying this. I've barely lived enough life to really give anything beneficial. I can say, however, that being happy is something I want to be and you can be too.
So stop sulking and feeling like the only one who "gets" you is Kurt Cobain. Open up and see the world for what it is. And just appreciate it.
