This is not a joke. I repeat. This is not a joke. My editor is plotting to kill me. By the time you are reading this I'll probably already be dead because she will have edited this and figured out that I'm on to her. She'll probably change the headlines to make it seem like this is just another uninspired article I wrote trying to be funny. Maybe it'll say something like THIS IS 100% A JOKE. She'll probably assume that the people reading this won't connect the dots when I slip quietly off of the radar. By then I'll probably be halfway down the Mississippi on some grain barge she bribed the captain of. But I have faith that you as a reader are smart enough to see truth. It all started when I asked if I would get paid for writing these. Like so many other noble journalists she wants to silence me for asking the tough questions. When are these people going to pay me? She gave me the answers she thought I wanted to hear and now she's trying to snuff out the curious light I'm casting on the Odyssey. This honestly might go way above her, who knows. All I know for certain is that she's on to me and I don't have much time.

She follows me to class sometimes. I catch glimpses of her out of the corner of my eye as I walk. Sometimes I'll fake taking a selfie with my phone just to catch her in the act. Usually all I capture is a blur as she attempts to run out of the camera's view. By then I usually just full on turn around to confirm my suspicions but she's already gone. I've done this eight times in the open streets and in broad daylight but she always finds somewhere to hide. I can still feel her there somewhere, watching me.

Sometimes I'll just see her walking straight toward me while I walk around campus. I think about running or hiding my face, or if there is anything nearby I could use as self defense in case she decides that now is the time to pounce. So far all she's done is smiled and waved at me, saying hello. I nervously do the same back, always on the verge of either breaking off into a sprint or getting ready to block one of her quick jabs at my throat and counter with a haymaker that would give me enough time to make my escape. She knows I'm ready. I can see it in her eyes. So we both just wave and I try not to look behind us as the other walks by. This is usually when I attempt to catch her with selfie. But she always disappears.

I'm pretty sure she tracks my movement. I try and take the less traveled paths to class and to the places where I eat, moving erratically as possible in public. I get on random buses and get off at random stops on my way to places just so that I can keep her off my trail. But there is no running from her. Some nights I see her staring up at me through the fifth story window that I sleep next to. The last three nights I've slept with the shutters on the windows in my dorm room closed tight. It didn't do any good though. I could still feel her watching me.

I'm 98% sure that last night she just stood outside of my door, waiting. I saw the shadow of two feet standing there for at least six hours. I had even left the door unlocked and was just waiting for her to walk in so she would try and do it already. That's when I realized she was just waiting for me to fall asleep. It's simple siege tactics now. She'll starve me out for the next few days and when I'm weak enough she'll make her move. I'm guessing she'll pull the fire alarm when she's had her fun and catch me in the stampede of tired students trying to leave the building. Then it will be as simple as doing the job and taking me and some money down to the river and waiting for the next barge to pass through.

I've come to peace with my situation at this point. I've been hiding in my room for the past four days without sleeping or bathing and nothing has changed. Please. Do something before it's too late. I don't know how much more time I have. If you are reading this right now you are one of the only people who can help me. If you slip $100 in cash underneath my door between the times of 6 AM CST and 11:00 PM CST I might be able to escape and tell the world what has happened. You are my last hope now. Do what you know in your heart to be right. I can see her shadow at the door now.