The road of transitioning is never easy; it takes a lot of twists, turns and overall is just a roller coaster of emotions and change. Back in October, I wrote an article titled "Hey Mom, Remember My Hot Wheels?" where I came out to my mom, and thus many others, about being pansexual and genderfluid. I had known since at least my senior year of high school that I was under the transgender umbrella, and at the time genderfluid is what fit best. I rested my case, finally knowing who I am, or at least what I felt on a day to day basis.

It has been a couple months since then and with all the recent stories of trans rights being won and lost, I've had a lot to look back on. In the past few months I've attended Creating Change 2016, an LGBT* conference that was held in Chicago this past January and I've also organized my university's seventh annual Drag Show. I feel that I've been pretty lucky considering that I've been surrounded by people of the community almost daily at my university, especially with my job being the LGBT* Pride Center Intern.

Throughout these experiences, I've noticed that I'm not fluidly going through the motions anymore, in reference of being genderfluid. I could usually guarantee that most days I felt more masculine than feminine, or vice versa, but in the past few months I've become and felt something more. While my biological sex assignment was female at birth, the binary genders of male and female never felt right to myself. But it wasn't until recently that I truly am neither, but more so a mix of both and none at the same time.

Now you may ask, "What does this mean for you? What does being nonbinary mean? Who are you?"

Well trust me, I'm still asking myself the same thing.

Google defines being nonbinary as, "Genderqueer (GQ), also termed non-binary or gender-expansive, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine — identities which are thus outside of the gender binary and cisnormativity."

While this is just a mere Google definition, I've come to realize a few things about what this means to me, mostly being that my own gender identity is still pretty fluid and that isn't ever going to stop. It comes with the territory I believe, especially based upon experiences, my own beliefs and what I hold dear to my own heart. What I've also come to realize is there is a lot of things you're never told about being nonbinary.

1. I do not have to always appear androgynous.

I will have you know that I look stellar in a dress, but killer in a dress shirt, suspenders and a bowtie. This especially comes in handy when cosplaying, because I feel comfortable in anything!

2. Filling out forms will always stink.

If my gender identity means so much to them, then they would take the time to put in an "other" category at least. Until then, I'll have fun messing up their numbers.

3. I've learned how to explain my identity better than anything else I know.

This especially handy when meeting those new people who still believe there are only two genders. Excuse me while I float away, however.

4. No matter what anyone says, I know who I am.

I've heard it all from, "You're just confused," to "You're not trans* enough because you're not transitioning." At this point, it has just become a contest of what is my next best comeback to these.

At the end of the day, however, my road of becoming nonbinary has been filled with many positives and negatives. Even with a lot of hostilities directed towards me from my peers, coworkers, family and legislation, it is worth it in the end.

However, I cannot speak for everyone on this. It is always key to remember that there is so much more work to be done, but until then, I feel so liberated to say, "I've never felt so alive."